Carpe Noctem - Dead Poets Society

Chapter 1: Prologue

He felt a nudge to his shoulder, making his eyes flutter open.

"Todd, Todd," Charlie called softly. Todd sat up, blinking to let his eyes adjust to the light. He felt around for his clock, picking it up and squinting at it.

"It's only eight, I gotta sleep." He muttered, pulling the covers back over his head. He quickly sat up again, noticing the others. They hadn't left. Todd got this crushing sense of dread, everything in him screaming that something was wrong.

"Todd, Neil's dead. He shot himself," Charlie said. Todd felt his head spin.

"Oh my god! Oh, Neil!" He cried, stumbling out of bed in a daze. Adrenaline coursed through him, pumping his legs and keeping him going. He wasn't sure where he was running, or why. He just wanted to get away from everyone, and find Neil.

_____

His eyes burst open, and he looked around wildly. Todd's gaze almost instantly went to Neil's bed, which, thankfully, had Neil in it. He felt the sticky warmth from the tears he cried while asleep, his breaths still erratic. He sniffled, relaxing slightly, knowing it was just a dream. He reassured himself silently. 'Just a dream. It's okay, Neil's here. He's here, and very much alive.'

He was tempted to go over and make sure he was really there, make sure that this wasn't a dream. He didn't. He wanted to let Neil sleep, because it was opening night tonight. 

_____

The poets settled into their seats as they waited for the show to start. The moment Neil appeared onstage, Todd felt the rest of the world tune out. He was there, as Puck, but still Neil. He made his presence on stage so pronounced, even when he was silent. The lights illuminated his features, making the twinkle in his eye more magical. Whenever Neil was offstage, Todd only half listened to the other characters, his eyes on the wings. Watching him come back on was like watching the opening all over again; leaving Todd awestruck. He whispered murmurs of agreement when one of the poets said Neil was good, but his eyes never left the boy onstage.

At the end, he was the only one who noticed it. Neil's eyes were focused on the back, his smile faltering for a second. The dread started creeping back in, his stomach in knots. Neil was alive, and he was truly amazing on opening night, so why was the dread back? The same heavy weight from his dream, paralyzing him. His eyes were locked on Neil, but with a different kind of intensity. This time, he was praying Neil would notice him and give him a wayward smile. A little reassurance, that he was going to be okay. Neil didn't. He backed up as the curtains closed, Todd finally being able to breathe. He looked behind him, towards the back of the hall, but saw no one that stood out from the crowd.

No one except a familiar faced man, who watched the bows with contempt.

_____

Todd rushed to Neil as soon as he saw him, but stopped. Neil was with his father. That was who he saw. That was who Neil had tried so hard to hide this from. His hesitation was brief, but it was long enough for him to have to start pushing through the crowd.

"Neil, that was great! Neil!" Todd shouted.

"We're having a party!" Knox yelled. Neil turned around.

"It's no use," He said sadly. Mr. Keating reached Neil and took him by the shoulders.

"Neil, you were brilliant!" Keating beamed. Mr. Perry threw Keating's hands away.

"You! Keep away from him!" Mr. Perry shouted. A stunned silence followed his words. He led Neil outside to his car and pushed him in. Charlie started to follow, but Mr. Keating held him back.

"Don't make it any worse than it is," He murmured, his tone solemn and defeated. Mr. Perry started the car and drove off, leaving Neil to press his hands against the back window. It made him look like a prisoner being taken to his execution.

Todd felt his heart sink as he watched Neil get driven away by Mr. Perry. He couldn't help but call out, even though it wouldn't make a difference. "NEIL!"

In a stunned silence, they all stared at Todd. No one had ever heard him raise his voice, let alone yell before.

His breaths came out quick and heavy, Todd's heart pounding in his chest. Neil was with his father. He would be safe, wouldn't he? After all, Neil's father was taking him away to protect him, right? Not that Todd thought it was right, but he tried to see it from Mr. Perry's perspective.

'He's going to be fine.' Todd thought to himself, a futile attempt to convince the nagging feeling in the back of his head. If that was really true, why did he feel like it wasn't? Why did he feel like this might be the last time he ever saw the beautiful, amazing boy he loved? The noises dulled out and got too loud all at once, merging together to create a screeching choir of chaos.

The others all watched, slowly turning away as the car left their view. Todd didn't. He watched the empty spot, desperate for something to happen. Anything, as long as Neil was okay.

_____

Neil remained silent, his eyes trained on Todd for as long as they could be. Was his father speaking? Maybe. He wasn't too sure. All he knew was that things were going to get worse before they got better. If they got better at all.