Len Kagamine's Collection of Short Stories

(DRAFT) Engrossed Escapism and Concern

Click, click... tap, tap...

The rhythmic sound of fingers hitting the keyboard keys echoed in the room.

Buzz... buzzzz...

The laptop's fan hummed quietly. It was 1:20 AM, and my room was dim and empty. I sat at my desk, focused on whatever was displayed on my laptop screen.

In all honesty, I couldn't sleep, as usual. My insomnia seemed to be getting worse. My body shivered as I wore only an oversized t-shirt and sleeping shorts. Despite the house being 73 degrees, it still felt cold to me. 

I grabbed my Bluetooth mouse and opened VOCALOID4, hoping to escape my worries and lose myself in another world. Despite being a VOCALOID myself, I owned the voices of the other VOCALOIDs, including my own. I used them to create my own music or do small covers. Sometimes, I would spontaneously create dubbed scripts and post them for others to see, sharing my spontaneous work with the world. 

Normally, it would make me happy to see others connecting with my work, finding meaning and purpose, and even discovering themselves through my expressions. I used to feel that way about my own creations. But lately, it feels like I'm using this as a form of escapism from everything, including my own self. Biting my lip, I sighed and started inputting phonetics into the empty sequence. I didn't even know what voice I was using, but something inside compelled me to start speaking through the program's sequence. I could talk for myself, yes, but I don't even make sense when I speak, which is why it's sometimes best if I don't.

Notifications started pinging through my phone, breaking my trance. I grabbed it and scrolled through them. "I thought I turned all my notifications off..." Sighing, I opened my apps, finding many unread DMs, some delivered, and others just empty. I hadn't been responding to my friends at all. Was I really that disconnected?  I clenched my phone, noticing my pinned chats... Rin and Miku had texted me, but I just didn't respond. 

Recalling my memories, I remembered I noticed those notifications before, but throughout the whole day.. I just didn't respond, believing I did. I looked at my hands, my eyes wavered in each direction, starting to realize this whole day I was holed up in my room with a closed door, feeling this space wasn't even mine to begin with. 

I turned my phone off, telling myself to respond to everyone later.. like usual. The same pattern always. The only thing important was my laptop, and trying to find myself in another world, that's what I wanted to do. No games, as I didn't played many video games anymore lately, like a normal teen would, neither did I go outside much. 

After getting up from my chair after a while, I decided to go to the bathroom, cautiously opening my door to make sure everyone was asleep before stepping out of the doorway..

"Len?" A familiar voice appeared from the darkness, making me startled and yelp. 

It was Rin, she was in her orange ruffled pajama tank top, and just comfy shorts. "What are you doing this late?" She crossed her arms, her hair in low messy pigtails, indicating that she just woke up. (Rin has a separate room, but it's next door.) 

I stood up straight, looking around and kept a blank face. "Um.. I'm just going to the bathroom.." I leaned against my doorway, crossing my arms.. but she didn't look convinced. "Your light is on, were you up on your laptop.. again?!" Her hands were on her hips now, I could tell she was cranky. 

"..Maybe.." I looked down, shuffling my hands in my pajama short pockets, avoiding her gaze. 

"Ugh..Len!" She had a scolding tone, but facepalmed. "You're seriously so obsessed with that thing!  You didn't reply to my message when Miku and I went outside to get some snacks.. seriously. Nobody came up here to bother you because we thought you were asleep or something.." She groaned, her expression visibly irritated.  "You concern me so much, you know that?" 

I didn't say anything, feeling bad I was disconnected from them. I never really opened up, and if I did.. it was considered over sharing (or misunderstood.)  "I was just really busy today.."

"Busy doing WHAT exactly?" She put her hands on my shoulders, making me look at her straight in the eye, like what a parent would do. 

"Um.. just..on my laptop... trying to make music or sequences.." I muffled out, fiddling with my shirt now. 

She sighed, letting go, massaging her forehead. "...Len.. I'm VERY concerned for you now." Her expression changed, more softer than before. "I think you're too into this. Everyone's been getting worried about how disconnected you are." She peered into my room, noticing only the lamp light was on, and the chair pushed out, my laptop humming. 

"...." She couldn't say anything, but just walk away, mumbling. "Just go to sleep soon, okay little bro?" Closing my own door, she let me go and walk to the bathroom.

(End of draft)