Context: Buck and Eddie have been dating for 8 months and one night duration an argument about how Buck doesn't open up to Eddie, and Buck brings up the day Eddie called him "Exhausting".
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Bucks pov:
At Eddie's house:
"I just don't get it, Buck. I wish you would talk to me more please that's all I'm asking from you." Eddie pleads at me, looking down at me, I'm on the couch, my hands holding on to each other for dear life with him standing over me with hid hands on his waist and a worried expression covering his face. "I'm fine Eddie really I promise." I say blankly.
"No, stop lying to me, Buck. I know you, and this is not you." He says, his hands moving with each word that leaves his mouth.
"Eddie, leave it. I told you I'm okay." I snap back as I choke back tears because no I'm not okay and I need to talk to Eddie about this but I'm so scared he'll think I'm dumping all of my feelings on to him and he'll call me 'stupid' or maybe 'exhausting' again. I just can't risk it. I can not lose him, not over some stupid emotions. I love him too much.
"Buck, talk to me please, please. I love you. I need to know if you're okay." He goes down to his knees in front of me, tears in his eyes and grabs my hands, and kisses them. "I'm fine, really." I say, then like an idiot it just flew out my mouth like bullets. I say,"I wouldn't want to exhaust you again anyway," I pull my hands away from his grip and cover my mouth. "W-what?" He says threw tears
Now I'm crying fuck. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that oh God I'm so sorry" I say he stands up and sits next to me and put one hand on my back and the other on my thigh rubbing up and down, not In a sexual way it was in a 'I'm here for you' way.
"Hey, no, stop talk to me. That was good. Keep talking it's okay. I can take it." He says with a small smile. "No. I can't. I don't want to lose you." I say tears streaming down my face. "Amor, look at me." He puts two fingers under my chin to make me look at him "I'm not going anywhere I am so so incredibly in love with you Nothing you could say could make me leave you so please tell me. Tell me what's bothering you." He says with an 'I promise' look in his eyes. "But I don't want you to look at me as a burden in your life, someone who constantly needs attention." I say, looking away from him, not being able to look at him in his eyes anymore.
"Let it all out, amor, tell me," He coaxes.
I take a deep breath, and then..
"Okay so it's just that earlier this week you said that I was being 'too much' and in my head I know that it was a joke but there's this other part of me that just took me back to when-when.." I start to choke back tears when I feel Eddies grip on my thigh gets a little tighter, it felt like a reassurance like he was telling me it was okay and that he wasn't mad at me without even using his words.
"When we were in that grocery store and you couldn't care less about me or my feelings and I wasn't your best friend and surely not your boyfriend. I was just Buck, that one coworker who you didn't give a shit about, just that extremely exhausting coworker." I sigh out in between tears
'You're exhausting, you're exhausting, you're exhausting, you're exhausting, you're exhausting,you're exhausting'
Those two words rang like a bell through my ears. It felt nice to let those words out, but it also felt horrible, like I just hurt the man I love the most.
Eddies pov:
'Just that extremely exhausting coworker.' Oh God to hear those words come out of Bucks mouth I love him so much I can't believe I was the reason he felt like this fuck me. Back then, we weren't dating, but we both had mutual feelings with each other. We started dating around four months later.
But he never told me about this. I hate myself. I should've known not to say that, especially because it's not true. But finally, I get out of my head and say
"Buck, you are not exhausting, okay? I need you to believe me when I say this you are the most kind-hearted, handsome man I've ever met and I am so sorry for making you feel like you couldn't talk to me please I need you to talk to me more if anything is giving you any problems even if it concerns me Buck, amor, Evan. I need you to know you can always come to me. I love you so so much." I brought my hand up from his thigh up to his cheek and wiped his tears, and I gave him a light kiss on his forehead. Putting my forehead to his, we just sit there embracing each other, feeling each other's warmth.
"I love you too, thank you so much for making me who I am today and thank you so so much for letting me be in your son's life, Chris is truly the best" he whispers against my lips you can practically hear the relief in his voice.
"Of course, amor, thank you for being such an amazing role model to him." I say as I close the gap between us joining our lips together, we kiss a soft, beautiful kiss full of love and joy.
"Oh and our son. Chris is our son."
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OHMYGOD, HII!!!!
I am so sorry about the late updates. School has been very hectic, but I plan to be here a little more.
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