Crazy Affection 18+| (KTH)

Chapter 77

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I don't know how and why I agreed to talk to Jungkook but somehow I didn't wanted to drage anything any longerso he sat just in front of me while we sat outdoor lounge face each other. One of the staff gave us two cup of coffee and left us alone on someone's command.  

From the moment I sat here I haven't once raised my eyes to look at him, the guilt was so heavy I would barely lift my head and dare myself to look at him. So, to break he cleared his throat, "Uhmm..." I could feel he was feeling the same as me. 

"Y/n, I don't know where to start from. But for whatever happened today..." 

I cut in, "I'm so sorry for what I did Jungkook I'm really am. I didn't know what I was doing until it was too late." I stopped and finally made an eye contact, and he was already staring at me. 

He looked drained, weak and his eyes almost lifeless. Did I do that? I thought to myself and the guilt sink deeper in my heart. What did I do? No matter how much he hated his father specially after finding out what he had done to my family still that man was his father, and I took his father away from him. 

I gulped, "Jungkook... I know what I did and if you wish you can absolutely report my crime after all I had no right to take the action in my hand but... Yeah, you're free to do whatever you like. I-" 

"Y/n please calm down." He cut in with a slow yet string voice. I stopped and looked at him again and he clearly forced himself to give me a smile. "I know what you're feeling right now I have been through that So I'm in no position to accuse you for anything." His tone was soft while his eyes pooled with tears and soon I felt my eyes filling with tears as well. 

I sniffled, "But Jungkook..." As I wished to continue he stood up from his chair and walked around the round tea table and sat down on the chair just next to me, His hand slowly reached, and he gently held my hand in his and gave me a light squeeze. 

"You don't have to explain me anything, don't try to put yourself through the guilt trip Y/n. The man is and was never worth it, although I do wish thing didn't turn out the way it did, but I promise I have or at least I know I'll forgive if I have the right to." He let out a big sigh and I felt him squeezed my hand a little. 

His words did hurt my feeling where I had expected he'd just forgive me already but of course that's not an easy thing to do and the thought of me even feeling hurt my this added up to my list of regrets. I'm so selfish. 

"Y/n I know we never had any perfect relationship but throughout that time I really felt like a lucky man to have you so much so I took you for granted and When I lost you, I was angrier than hurt and mostly jealous of him." He stopped and let out a small chuckle. "You don't even know how many times I wonder if we'd be together had I lied to you and told you I was you're Tae in fact." 

I understood what he meant, and I was so thankful that he didn't ever lie to me. His eyes met mine and I gave him a small yet a genuine smile which he gave back. As he did the lights of the celling flickered on as the evening dusk was settling in with few orange rays of the drowning sun scattered in the dark sky. 

"Do you know what Y/n?" He started again and I my attention was back to him again. 

"I have always loved you and I was afraid I will always continue to do it but after this situation I'm glad thing can finally change. Because no matter what there's always this situation between us and I know I'm selfish and evil but I'm glad it happened. It's as if the evil bond that had connected us is now gone so we should just leave the past behind and move on." 

There was an utter silence between us for a moment a fresh and cold wave of evening breeze brushed on my face and somehow it was very calming. My shoulders relaxed a little, "I'm very relieved that you're letting the past go, I'm so happy for you. But what about the crime I committed?" I asked because no mattered how hard I try I can't forget about it.