Crazy Affection 18+| (KTH)

Chapter 78

[21+ content ahead, reader discretion advised]

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Through the awkwardness that was between us and silence after he asked me that question, I could hear his heavy breathing as he stayed in his spot and stared back at me. It hasn't been that long since we were in same room but somehow it does feel long enough for us to be nervous. 

"So uhmm..." I started although I didn't intend to say anything meaning or how to reply to that but just to break the ice I felt as if I was forced to say something, anything at all.   

He swiftly closed the distance between us was now standing in from of me, "Yeah?" I almost wanted to laugh how animated his action looked to me, but I held myself. 

After another long silence I smiled at him, "Let's sleep?" This awkward, I just ignored his request and proposed this instead? The expression on his face changed and his cheeks turned red, yet he looked disappointed and then I realized how that must have sounded to him.

"No no!!" I say frantically " That's not what I meant!" He chuckled lightly at my attempt to explain myself. My shoulder relaxed at the sight of his smile almost as If I wanted melt away. 

Oh, how much I missed this smile. 

He smiled and nodded at me, "I know what you meant." He told me as he sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. I looked at the spot for a while but gave in and sat next to him keeping few inches away, keeping a safe distance from him. 

He did notice it but didn't question it for which I was thankful because that would be an awkward to answer. 

There was a big window in front of us through which we could see the moon and it happened to be full moon day and silver light was bright luminating the sky. It was very beautiful sight, calming. 

He took in a long breath in which got my attention, so I turned to him. He was looking straight ahead of himself towards the moon, he looked so eternally, the light from the moon was glimmering in his eyes. I looked at his jaw line recalling how I would hold his jaw whenever we kissed and then My eyes slowly moved toward his plumped lips and a flashback of his lips on my skin played in front of my eyes. 

I gulp hard. Why am I having this kind of thought at moment like this? 

I didn't notice when his turned his head in my direction and was looking at me, "What's wrong?" He asked. 

Snapping back out of my dirty thought I looked at his face this time my face was red, and I shook my head, "Nothing really. I'm-I'm just sleepy!" I squeaked unwantedly out of embarrassment. 

He looked at me a little surprised and narrowed his eyes but didn't question that either, "Okay. Let's sleep." He stood up from the bed and was about to walk away but before he could I grabbed his hand. 

I closed my eyes shut I grabbed his hand even without any self-realization. He did stop and looked down at me with a look I didn't quite understand, "Where are you going?" I asked him. 

He gave me a small smile, "To Namjoon's room. You don't seem comfortable enough around me." He replied with pain in his eyes. 

That hurt me. I didn't know I was giving him the impression that I was uncomfortable around him well yeah, I was acting weird but that was because I was having thought about him.  

 I stand up in front of him, "No I'm not. You don't have to go out." I told him, he stared back at me. 

"It's okay you don't have to worry about it. Me and Namjoon have a lot to talk about." He told me with a straight look on his face. I remained quite so he took as a sign and started walking towards the door.