I think Kalei wants me to ask her to be my girlfriend. I don't want her to be my girlfriend, I don't want to be her boyfriend.
I like her too much to give her that much control over me and my feelings. Backwards, I know.
I hurt the people I like, I hurt them badly and I don't want to hurt Kalei. She'll be hurt either way when she finds out I have no plans or interests in making her anything more than what she is to me right now.
Womp womp? that's what she says to me when she doesn't care how I feel.
I mean, I care how she feels but it's about me as well right?
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It's been a month since I told Layne how I felt and we got closer I guess. He would kiss me anytime and I would kiss him anytime.
He would praise me, and tell me how pretty or beautiful or ethereal I am. He would pick up food for me, and help me cook.
Spend multiple nights with me and me with him. He would make me forget about my outside life when he was around.
He would watch me work, he would help me put the mailing stickers on my packages, and he would give me massages when I asked.
He would cuddle with me, even though he liked a quiet house when he slept he wouldn't ask me to turn my music off.
He was perfect, in every way. I want him to be my boyfriend but I'm damn sure not going to ask. If he wants to be my man then he'll ask me.
I'm going to ask him about it when he comes over later. It's pathetic that I have to ask him to ask me to be his girlfriend. I guess I'm just a pathetic bitch though.
I do feel like we're moving fast but slow-paced relationships never really work out, it gives you too much time to realize each other's flaws.
When you're already in a relationship you have to adapt to each other's flaws and work through your trials and tribulations. When there's no label on your relationship it gives people the incentive that they can do whatever they want.
If you don't have your boyfriend in name then be sure to believe that another girl is in the exact same position as you with the exact same dude. Or maybe I'm just in my no-bullshit era.
Truthfully speaking I've had my past Friend with Benefits and that No-label type of thing. The difference is I like Layne too much. It's crazy to think he used to be the bain of my existence, aggravating me at every turn.
Now I would start going through withdrawals if I found out he was treating somebody else how he treats me. Ok.. maybe not withdrawals.
But I would be pretty damn upset honestly. I haven't even seen or had the dick yet, can you believe that?!
Speaking of the bitch, he just texted me. Of course, he's on his bullshit, I roll my eyes trying not to smile.
I finish my conversation with my client before I go text Layne back.
