Haunt: Volume 2

Autumn and Kelsie Go to IHOP (Autumn, Kelsie & Delilah story)

Thursday Night

September  22, 2022

POV: IHOP

Thursday night was interminably slow for Autumn. Admin assigned her to fill in at the Bone Zone because their own yellowshirt, Jonah the Spoon, was out with COVID. That's what he'd told them anyway, and who would argue? She was the go-to spot-filler as one of the newest yellowshirts, so she spent the night outside in the humid fog, wrangling break times for orcs - who needed lots of breaks. Their costumes were enormous and hairy, so the young men underneath were afforded every chance to rest and bolt down Gatorade.

The strangest Bone Zone duty was "escort." This was a fright zone, meaning that, as opposed to being a haunted house, the orcs' territory was simply one long stretch of the park's walkways, suitably decorated, heavily fogged, and riddled with hairy beasts leaping out from behind cages. About every five minutes, some parent thought it would be a fine idea to bring their small child through the Orcish murder zone, thinking it would be like Lord of the Rings or something. Autumn had to find and escort these families out because that child, fed up with terror and finished with dysfunctional parental bullshit, flat-out refused to move another step forward. Autumn collected these parents and their now-needing-therapy children and ushered them to the nearest escape, calling, "No scares, no scares," ahead of herself and fending off any orcs who couldn't hear her because of the furry helmets on their heads and the fuzzy music through the speakers.

The shift came to an end, as they all must. She performed her assigned chores and returned to administration without bumping into drunks or losing employees at haunted trash bins. It was a miracle. She filled in the checkout sheets for a line of orcs, turned in their costume tags, returned her own yellow shirt to wardrobe, and clocked out.

Autumn liked to think she was unique because she did not want to clock out. There was always something a bit sad about doing so. Sure, she was tired, and end of night wrapup was the most tedious part of the experience. But it also meant the conclusion of another day at Haunt, a seasonal event with a limited number of nights every year - another one gone made her feel a bit melancholy. Her fellow employees claimed to share that feeling until about 1:00 a.m. when the enthusiasm died down along with their blood sugar. Work was work, no matter how fun it was. Except for her, she liked to hang on to that little spark of enthusiasm.

She carried that enthusiasm as she headed for IHOP, eager not to let the night end so soon.

Kelsie had instructed, "First one there grabs a table!"

With Haunt, there was no guarantee how long it might take someone to leave. One confused prosthetic removal could hold up a line for half an hour. A missing costume tag? Forget about it.

The refrigerator glow of IHOP's windows lit up the night for two blocks in each direction; it was the only business still open except for the all-night gas station on this road of mini-malls, pawn shops, and tattoo parlors.

The parking lot was busy as wound-up screamsters from Vampire's Lair and Swampocalypse crowded inside, stinking of makeup remover and sweat. Autumn followed them, stepping into the freezing-cold lobby of the restaurant.

The hostess, whose nametag said "Georgia," expectantly waved the screamsters toward two long sets of tables set up in anticipation of their arrival. Autumn watched in amazement as the two factions took their chairs and began a sort of ceremonial insult trade, counting up Boo-Bucks, bitching about who had won "House of the Night" for last Saturday, both sides irked that the winner was Mannequin Factory - again. Mama Vamp and Papa Legba each occupied spots at the head of their respective tables, watching over their groups.