Renouncing the Emperor's Heart

Amon vel Feyras (Part III)

With a satisfied smile, he led through the town square and towards an overgrown forest that smelled of rain and warm sunshine. Carefully navigating the uneven terrain and the scattering small animals that fled from their footsteps, they walked in silence, though it was a comfortable one that gave her the chance to appreciate the scent of nature and the peace that followed.

How long had it been since she traveled past the sheltered Gardens in the Palace?

She couldn't imagine it could compare to the raw beauty of what was before her now.

As the air chilled, the sound of rushing water echoed in her ears. Jovine's lips parted as they passed a block of trees that unveiled a towering waterfall.

"Oh my," she breathed, walking slowly into the large expanse.

"Breathtaking, isn't it?"

Taking in the evergreens crawling across large boulders settled in crystal waters and the colossal shower of bubbling water, Jovine gazed in awe. "I had no idea there was a place like this here."

"It's a little hidden but cherished by the townspeople," he said, taking her elbow and guiding her through a rough patch of moss.

When they reached a fairly smooth pebbled strip, Amon placed his sacks of market goods on the ground as Jovine removed her cloak. Spreading it across the surface to act as a cover from the small rocks, Jovine looked up to find Amon rubbing his jaw with a perplexed look.

"You beat me to it. Are you being chivalrous for me, Jovine?"

"Oh, please," she said as she promptly seated herself on her cloak. "No need to be so moved."

His deep chuckle rumbled through the air as he brought over an array of treats he had purchased from the market vendors. Spanning from chocolate sweets to salted dried meats, he gestured at her to take her fill. He took a seat beside her and grabbed a handful of nuts from a small paper container. Out of habit, she took the first sweet thing she could find — a small roll of candied fruit to accompany the syrup bread she still held in her hands.

It was the most peaceful she had felt in a long while, munching on simple snacks against a backdrop of sparkling water and endless trees. When she imagined how her encounter would have gone with the Grand Duke, it was nothing like the reality of it now. In fact, the ease and familiarity she felt with him was unforeseen.

"So, Amon," she started, his name still a little foreign on her tongue. "What's your story?"

He raised a brow. "My story?"

"Well, we're on our way to being friends, yet I don't know much about you."

"I suppose you're right," he admitted. "But, the same goes for you."

"A story for another then. If you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine," she bargained.

Amon chuckled, stretching his long legs out in front as he turned to her. "Alright, where should I start?"

Jovine swallowed the last of her bread and pondered if her questions would be too personal or invasive. But, her curiosity of the Feyras name was something that existed since her first studies. "It's been long years since the Feyras Family was present in the Capital and at Court, so there's a lot of mystery surrounding the name."

"Most likely because we're seen as a threat."

"Yes," she acknowledged, thinking back to all those months ago when she herself had worried about not being able to provide her husband with an heir. As Grand Duke and the closest Royal blood-line, he could have claim to the Throne. "But, I do know it's just you up there in the North. May I ask what happened to your parents?"

Amon nodded, though he looked towards the trickling water instead of holding her gaze. "My mother died right after birth, and my father followed a few months after. I don't remember them, so I can't say I miss someone that never existed in my life. But, I don't like to think of myself as an orphan." A gentle smile touched his eyes. "I have people that I like to call my Mother and Father."

"I'd love to hear about them."

His eyes softened. "My Father is the groundskeeper of my estate in Mallory. He's grumpy and not much of a talker, but you'll never know someone with a warmer heart than him."

Jovine looked down, smiling at the ground. She could hear the affection abounding through his words.

"My Mother, on the other hand, delivered me when I was born. She took care of me ever since and is a complete opposite from my Father — she talks too much most days and always smiles. More so when she's sad."

"They sound like great people."

"The best," he said. "Against all odds, they fell in love, and by the time I turned 16, they were married."

"How beautiful."

And, it truly was — to watch him talk about his family and knowing he didn't bear the brunt of loneliness as most people presumed. In the cold North, shunned by the Capital and marked as distant peril, Jovine could only imagine Mallory and the Grand Duke's predicament as a dark, isolated existence. Yet, the way his eyes lit up as he remembered his home told a different story. And, the more she listened, doubt started to crowd in.

As Amon easily told tales of Mallory, like the way his favorite bakery was run by his best mate's father who always had streaks of flour on his face or the quaint little flower shop his Mother loved to visit, Jovine couldn't help but feel she had come to the wrong person.

She had come all this way, testing the man — the very man who clearly missed his home — to see if he was good enough to usurp the Crown. To see if he could take his place on the Throne. Her survey of his character showed he'd be compassionate enough to care for Theolos, yet Amon didn't seem like someone who came to fight.

So, as the sun arced across the sky until rays of light shone on her face and Amon finally looked to her to hold up her end of her bargain, she told him a fraction of her story with bitter guilt tainting her thoughts. A dull one compared to his, she realized her life had only amounted to being the Crown Prince's betrothed or the Emperor's bride. Even as a child she had only prepared for her role or waited in her brothers' shadows.

"I'm afraid I'm not very interesting," she finished with a conscious laugh. It had taken Amon a good hour telling her the things she wanted to know, and she could only manage a few drab sentences for hers.

"I beg to differ," Amon countered. "I hope one day you'll feel yourself wanting to tell me more, but for now, I'm happy to know you."

Jovine stared into his unfazed eyes. Perhaps he was right and she couldn't find more things to say because she didn't want to tell him. But, there were stories that didn't belong to her. Like Elias' and her father's.

"I'm happy to know you too, Amon." The friendship he had mentioned at the start of all this began to form in fragile bonds. A bond she knew, in a moment, would be shattered.

And, she was right.

Because, as they packed up their eaten goods and she donned her cloak, they made their way back through the forest, and before they could re-enter civilization where eyes would be watching and ears could be listening, Jovine called out to him.

"Amon?"

He turned, a curious smile pasted on his face. "Yes, Jovine?"

Jovine took a breath, her heart pounding heavily as she drew the courage. The doubts she held still rang in the balance, but she couldn't let her chance escape. "I hate to end it like this," she muttered.

Reaching into her pockets, she grasped that small, but heavy, coin. Holding it up into the light, she finally asked the question she found him for. "What's your play in this?"

Every soft emotion, every amiable moment they shared in their day together, drained from his face. No longer smiling, no longer warm, Amon vel Feyras stared at her.

Vacantly.

And resigned.