Till death to do us part.*^ Johnnie X reader ^*

^ep7!! crybaby^

|| I'm so sorry if this is bad, i have been struggling depression like a lot, i'm really not doing okay but i'll try my best just for you guys. <33  also the 'blank' you see is the thought or in mind||
TW: SELF HARM, BLOOD
Y/N'S POV
~~~~~~~~
In the car ride with me and tara "Sooo what really did happened?" Tara said, "I don't really know.. but like, it all just happened I said something like 'i like you johnnie i really really like you' that i guess" I said "Holly fuck. you are so lucky girl, he is so inlove with you, he looks at you hypnotise like he is hypnotised by your beauty" tara said with a soft smile

'Damn.. none have ever said that to me before.. does he really feel like that? No he doesn't.. does he? oh my god.. what does he feel about me..?' All the thoughts went thru my mind "hey? Y/n? you okay??" I zoned out.. fuck "yeah, shit sorry i was zoning out"

"Well we are already at your apartment complex" She said "Awh thank you Tara, see you laterr" i said with a wave and smiled as she drove away, i went to my apartment and took of my make up,took a shower and changed into PJs 'Fuck now i have nothing to do'

'does he really think of me that way?.. does he even like me..like,really like me? does he love me?.. what does he feel about me..? what if i'm not good enough for him..?' this Thoughts raced thru my mind, suddenly i felt tears in my eyes. and i fell down on my knees

my hand on my face 'What the fuck is wrong with me?!.. i should kms..' my tears running down my face and i went into the bathroom and locked it.. taking a box from the cabinet..
and took out a razor, i rolled up my sleeve and started to... cut myself 2 for being to ugly 1 for

thinking that he likes me back 2 for being too depressed 3 for being the way that i am.
'I'm such a fucking failure.. i was 1 week clean and i did this.. what the fuck is wrong with me?' i thought as the blood dripping down my arm, i washed my wrist in the hot water.. it burns. but i deserve it.. right.?

tears dripping down my face, i finally got out of the bathroom and went to my bedroom and went straight to bed crying

TIME PASS
~~~~~~~~~

I was woken up by a bad dream.. i was in bed sweating, i got up to sit 'what the fuck was that?' i thought as i rubbed my head, i went and got my phone 'what time is it?' 12:30 pm 'Holly shit why are there so many messages on my phone?'

Johnnie🖤
Y/n what are you up to?
11:11 am
Johnnie🖤
Y/n???
12:28 am
Johnnie🖤
Y/n i swear to god if you don't answer the phone i'm coming over o it
12:18 pm
missed voice call

Johnnie🖤
I'm coming over right now.
12:20 pm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'what the fuck? ah shit now he's coming over..and i look like this, holly fuck why can't i be prettier?!' Ding Dong!! 'Fuck now he's here..' i went up and opened the door for him "Holly shit where have you been Y/n?!"

my eyes started to tear up while i looked at johnnie in the eye "Fuck.. i'm crying again" i said laughing a little bit, but johnnie didn't he just looked at me then suddenly he hugged me..

"i'm sorry i couldn't be there for you.." he said with a soft voice "It's not your fault.." i said as i hugged him even tighter, "Oka let's get this drama shit inside shall we?" Johnnie said he laughed a little so did i

we went inside, i was still crying.. 'why the fuck am i still crying.. i'm such a crybaby' (A/n: CRYBABY MENTIONED??) we went and sat down on the couch, "what happened Y/n??"Johnnie said with a worried look

I didn't say anything i just cried,and cried 'i'm such a crybaby, stop fucking crying bitch' "Y/n let me see your wrist.." Johnnie said, 'shit. fuck. no..' i was hesitant until i rolled up my sleeve up. the scars are still fresh

"i'm sorry" i said struggling to say it "It's okay.. it's all my fault, i should have been there" Johnnie said tearing up "It wasn't your fault.." i said looking in his eyes " please don't cry, I love you" I added "I love you more." he said before kissing me on the forehead

Johnnie got up and went to get the first aid kit "Johnnie you don't have to do that." i said assuring him "No,but i want to." he said with a demanding voice 'why was that kinda hot' 'wait what the fuck is wrong with me' he finally found the first aid kit, he took my arm and his other hand is holding bandage

he rapped the bandage around my arm "fuck that hurts.." I said as i whimpered in pain (not that type of whimpering) "oh sorry i'll go a little slower" (THIS SOUNDS LIKE A PORNO) "No, it's okay.." i said with a soft smile. 'Fuck my eyes is tearing again..i'm a fucking crybaby stop fucking crying' a tear drop down on my arm while Johnnie was putting bandages on it

"why are you crying again.?" he said,i say nothing to him i was to afraid to open up.. "Hey look at me." he said as he put his fingers on my chin and gently fit my face up to look at him "what's wrong.?" he said

"i never had someone care for me this much before, i don't know what i'm crying for, i don't think i could love you more, i'll love you till the day that i die.(Billie Eilish reference!?) words can't even express now much i love yo-" i was cut off my Johnnie kissing me.. on.. the lips.

it was a passionate kiss. his lips was so soft.but so cold because of his piercing. it was the best kiss i have ever gotten.. he is so pretty and adorable and handsome and everything. the kiss felt like hours. Johnnie pulled back to take a breath "holly shit you talk too much" he said jokingly laughing thru his breath

I laughed too.. "You are so pretty Y/n.. please don't listen to anyone who say that your not. you are the best thing that ever happened to me Y/n.. i felt love in first sight. i love you for so long and now you love me too.. now i don't have to wait anymore i already have you. please please please Y/n.. stop hurting yourself.." he said with a smile on his face

i gave him the biggest hug i ever gave someone
"I won't do it again, all for you. but.. it's not a promise" i said reassuring him "I know.. and i'll be there for you, so please when you need help, come to me.." he said "I love you so much"

"I love you more.." he said "You are my everything Y/n"

His everything..?

1236 words ^

||LMAOO what the fuck just happened omg anyway this is kinda like my irl story except that none came to comfort me 😭😭🔥🔥 anyway i hope you guys really liked this ep if there is any problem please tell me!!<3||