As the rain poured, Felix sat alone in his room, surrounded by memories of happier times. The silence was Deafening, echoing the emptiness she felt inside. Tears welled up in her eyes, each drop a silent sentence came out.
Was he a bad friend? Felixt and Hyunjin have been friends ever since they could crawl, well they were friends. Now they are nothing to each other.
When Felix and Hyunjin first started highschool, gr10. Hyunjin had found new friends. Cool friends. Popular friends, leaving Felix behind. The once vibrant color of their bond now seemed washed out, replaced by a dull pain, ache of loneliness that lingered in every corner.
Hyunjin and his 'friends' bully Felix any time he's alone, Felix doesn't know why Hyunjin changed. And he knows he cant change him back. He can't do anything about it
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sighing, Felix walks back home, head down, listening to the beats the play around his head.
Suddenly Hyunjin and his little minions pop up in my face, "wassup lix" Hyunjin says teasing me about my nickname. The nickname he created. He ruffles my hair, and his other friends push me to the side. I keep my head down, not wanting to look Hyunjin in the eye.
"Aww guess he doesn't want to look us in the eye" one of his friends says, making a sad face to mock me, "if he does, he might just fall in love with us." his other friends yell, making a sarcastic face, "what a faggot". Hyunjin laughs, a laugh that breaks my heart.
After his friends leave, it's just between me and Hyunjin, he's still bullying me, making fun of my appearance. My freckles. The freckles he always complimented.
"Bro what was I thinking when I was friends with you, guess I was really desperate for friends huh" Hyunjin laughs, there's a silence after his laugh lows down, a sicking silence
"Hyunjin?" I ask him slowly, he looks down at me, with a questioning faze "What does the fag want from me now?" He asks, I hold up all my urges to just cry in front of him.
"Was I really that bad of a friend?" I ask him, my voice low, he goes silent for some time before speaking up again. He chuckles "of course you are, why do you think I dumped you?" he asks, I just let it all out. I let all my tears in front of him. I wish I didn't.
"Aww did I make lix cry?" he asks with a pout and acting like he's wiping away his tears. I can't do it anymore. I ran away, I ran away as fast I could.
"What a baby" I hear Hyunjin mumble to himself lowly
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I stop at a bench, taking deep breaths, my tears now dried up.
Funny thing Hyunjin followed right behind me, I take a deep glance at the sunset, Hyunjin had also stopped in front of the bench
"Hyunjin" I ask him again, feeling my chest rise up
"What now?" I hear Hyunjin let out, I turn to him and he turns to me
"Can you hug me, can you hold me" I ask him, he looks at me with a confused gaze "Please" I let out lowly
He takes a deep breath and then hugs me, I hug him back. A tight hug
Were both lost in the feeling of the hug, I take another deep breath
"I'm scared" I let out, remembering the times where he would comforting me, he looks at me again with those confused dark eyes
"Please forgive me, please" I tell him
"Huh? What are you apologizing for?" he asks me, I look back at the sunset, "for being a bad friend to you"
It's quiet, no one dares to say a thing, Hyunjin hugs me back,
really tightly "I wish you'd know" He mumbles really quietly, but I still hear him loud and clear.
Me and Hyunjin both parted ways, it feels like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I make my way back into my House, going straight upstairs. To the bathroom. I take out a small little container of pills.
I look at the pills then at the mirror, my heart is beating so hard, so hard it's hard for me to breathe.
I take a deep breath. Swallowing the pills one by one.
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Hyunjin walks home, feeling his heart be heavy, if only Felix knew. If only he knew that hyunjin still likes him, and still wants to be friends with him. He was forced to bully Felix. He was forced to stop liking Felix.
That hug meant everything to him, it meant the world to feel Felix again, to hold him in his arms again. His heart broke when Felix questioned himself if he was a bad friend. He wanted to make him stop talking and just kiss him, tell him he's the best friend ever.
He suddenly stops in his tracks, running to Felix's house. To tell him everything. To tell him his feelings.
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He reaches Felix's door, and starts knocking, and knocking, still no one opens the door for him. He remembers where the Lee's kept their hidden door key, and immediately took the key out its hiding spot. He jams the key in, hurrying to get inside. He opens the door and runs straight to Felix's room.
His mind tells him something is not right, when he doesn't find felix in his room, he notices the bathroom door is locked and starts pounding on the door
"FELIX! FELIX! OPEN THE DOOR, FELIX" he keeps pounding and pounding on the door, he steps back and pounds his whole body on the door, opening it.
Hyunjin immediately stops in his tracks, watching the now lifeless body in front of his very two eyes. His eyes watering and his heartbeat increasing
He runs up to the body turning the body towards him "Felix, Felix, come on now don't joke with me, Felix" Hyunjin feels his eyes letting out tears, his hand running up the body's face and hair.
"Hyunjin?" He hears a low voice, "Felix!" he hugs the body "stay with me, the ambulance is on their way come on stay with me!" "Hyunjin.. I'm sorry for being a bad friend to you
"No Felix no you were never a bad friend" he lets his tears out "I was a good friend?" Felix lets out, his tears coming out too, his eyes closing more and more "NO! Keep your eyes open, keep your eyes open please, please!" Hyunjin begs
""I love you! I love you so freaking much, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was forced to bully you please!" Hyunjin cries, letting his tears get everywhere. "I'm glad you don't hate me" Felix looks at Hyunjin, showing him a small smile. A dying smile, his eyes closing once again.
"Fuck! Where's the damn ambulance" Hyunjin cries out, holding Felix tightly in his hands "Hyunjin, I love you too" Felix tells Hyunjin, which doesn't help with the tears.
Then suddenly Felix stops smiling, more and more tears coming out "I'm scared, Hyunjin i'm scared," Hyunjin Screams, his voice hinting at pain.
His eyes closing..
One last time.
"Stay with me darling, please stay with me!" Hyunjin begs, praying out to whoever is out there.
"The ambulance comes barging in, trying to take the body away from Hyunjin, but Hyunjin just lays there, still tightly holding Felix. Not wanting to let go
More paramedics coming in, to try and 'save' the body
But Hyunjin knows it, it's too late,
His Felix is gone, He's really gone.
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yeah.. I cried to this
anyways I hope you all have a good day!!❤️
