Between Friends and Lovers

(08) Alexandria

I was caught in the state of disbelief. Everything else faded, all the noise disappeared and all the people around seemed to disappear. The only thing holding me to reality was my heart that was beating hard in my chest and the look on Cece’s face—it seemed to piss me off even more.

“You’ve been talking to my sister about me?” My voice was strained, I was trying so hard not to let the anger come through.

“It’s not like we were gossiping about you,” she said as if I was being irrational, and I hated that. “She made some great points and made me see things that I wasn’t paying attention to.”

“Yeah, well, that’s easy to do when you’re not the one going through it,” I spat, “You know what I’ve been through with Theo, so I’m amazed to hear you siding with Rosa.”

“It’s not that I’m siding with her.” She glanced at Lily before looking back at me. “I know things that Rosa doesn’t know about your relationship with Theo, and they worry me.”

This conversation was making me regret telling Cece all the things that happened in my relationship. There were things that have happened that I wasn’t proud of. Things that I didn’t want my sister to know about. The only people who knew were Jackie and Cece, but now I wondered if my sister knew. Did Cece tell her?

“You think they don’t worry me?” I questioned, anger rising within me. “I’m the one who went through it.”

“That’s not what I meant.” She tried to reach for my hand, but I pulled away.

“Well, that’s what it sounds like.”

I was fuming as I stared at her. However, I couldn’t pinpoint what was making me angry.

I was angry at Rosa for talking to Cece about something personal to me. I was also mad at Cece since I shared with her how I felt about this whole Theodore situation. And for her to side with my sister felt like a sucker punch.

But I was also angry with myself. I wanted to end the relationship, but every time I thought I did, I’d find myself going back to him.

“Alex, I didn’t mean to sound rude or side with Rosa.” She sighed. “I just don’t want you to go back into that dark place. You almost lost your life, and I’ve seen the progress you’ve made in the past three months. I don’t want you to stumble and fall again. And let’s be honest, having any kind of relationship with Theo will make you fall again.”

Instead of diffusing my anger, her words made it worse. As much as Cece was the peacemaker, this time around, though, she missed her mark.

But it was bound to happen. Cecilia was a Cunningham, and her entire family was built on perfection. She’d never be in a toxic relationship, or even if she did, it would be a matter of time before Mrs Cunningham would get involved and make sure it ended. All of that made it hard for Cece to relate with some of the situations we go through, which sometimes made me wonder if she kept peace because she wanted everything to be perfect or she did it because she wanted the fighting to end. I’ve always felt like it was the former.

I grabbed my tank top and put it on, now feeling glad that I didn’t take off my shorts. While looking for my phone and car keys, I noticed Cece roll her eyes.

“Alex.” She groaned. “Don’t be dramatic.”

“Don’t call me dramatic,” I told her, grabbing the rest of my stuff.

“You’re leaving?”

I turned to see Lily looking at me with a frown. A part of me knew that I was making a mountain out of mole hill with wanting to leave, but if I stayed, I was bound to argue with Cece, and that wasn’t something I wanted. Cece had good intentions, but everyone knew that the road to hell was paved with good intentions.