Helluva Boss Headcanons and Randomness

What Your Favorite Character Says About You

Blitzø: You relate a little too hard to Bojack Horseman. You've done a lot of bad things in your life that you bitterly regret, and even though you're trying to be a better person now, you can't escape the feeling that you'll never be able to outrun your past. Regardless of what you did in the past, all you can do is try to be better now, even if you've burned several bridges to a crisp.

Stolas: Represssed gay with daddy issues. You've had to hide who you are your entire life to please your family, and now that your secret is slowly being made public, your family are starting to abandon you and you're terrified of losing everyone you've ever known. That's probably for the best, though, because you need to find people who will accept you and love you as you are.

Stella: Got room for the Jax fans in your little, 'my favorite character got ruined even though they were like that from the start' club? Because you should definitely start making room if you haven't already. They need it.

Octavia: Your childhood was completely destroyed by your parents' unhappy marriage and subsequent divorce. You can't talk to either of your parents without one of them complaining about the other, and you wish more than anything that you weren't born into a loveless marriage so that you could've had a stable and happy childhood.

Loona: Furry. Need I say more? Because of all of the characters you could've picked, you went for the emo Hellhound. You have a kinky AO3 history and you dream about being stepped on by a goth dommy mommy.

Moxxie: You cling to your significant other because your relationship with them is the only healthy relationship you've ever had in your life. Your family are the worst, and you don't have many friends, on account of the fact that you keep befriending complete and utter jackasses.

Millie: Look, I get it, you love your significant other, and that's great, but it is ok to have a life outside of them. Get a hobby, or something, IDK.

Fizzarolli: Hurt/comfort is your all-time favorite trope, and you live for romances with happy endings. You dream of finding a rich and powerful man who loves you with all his heart, not because you're a gold-digger, but because you want a classic happy Disney princess ending, and though you haven't found the right man yet, you're certain that you will someday.

Asmodeus: Your significant other thinks that you're way out of their league (And let's face it, you are), despite your repeated attempts to assure them that you love them as they are. Your sex life would make the most hardcore AO3 writer blush like a schoolgirl, and you'd be proud of it.

Beelzebub: Hello, Ke$ha fans! Your favorite music genre is 2010s EDM, and your favorite drink is whatever gets you drunk the fastest. Many people have tried to beat you in a drinking contest, but few have succeeded, and they consider it a great honor, because you have an iron liver, and getting you drunk is no easy task. It's a miracle that you haven't died from alcohol poisoning yet.

Mammon: I know that you've thought about putting $20,000 in a blender, drinking it, and then bragging to everyone that in a few hours, you're going to piss away 20 grand. And for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT DO IT.

Verosika Mayday: You're still bitter over that one shitty ex of yours, but instead of letting it get you down, you use it as a driving force to become the most successful that you can possibly be. You're fueled by spite, and you want nothing more than to rub your fame and fortune in the faces of everyone who's ever wronged you.

Glitz and Glam: You're a K-pop stan. Like, the most hardcore K-pop stan out there. The kind of K-pop stan that makes other K-pop stans uncomfortable and writes real-person fanfiction about your favorites.

Striker: You have a serious thing for cowboys. I'm talking, Brokeback Mountain is your favorite film, kind of serious. You're into the brooding, lone ranger type of cowboy.

Andrealphus: You saw him, and you screamed, 'Elsa birb'. Which, to be fair, that does seem to be what he is. If he gets any songs in the show, you hope that they'll hit as hard as Let It Go did.