Helluva Boss Headcanons and Randomness

A Rewrite of That One Scene From Full Moon

"I don't look down on you! When have I ever looked down on you?"

Blitzø blinked, unsure if he was hearing Stolas correctly, but upon realising that he hadn't misheard the Goetia prince, a flood of white hot rage coursed through his veins. Stolas couldn't be serious.

"Oh, you don't look down on me? So you weren't looking down on me all of the times you called me your impish little plaything, or an itty bitty imp?" he spat, "What about all of the times you've refused to call me by my actual name? Or the fact that you still make me sneak into your palace even though Stella's moved out, and you have no reason to hide your affair from her anymore?"

Tears welled up in Stolas' eyes. "When you put it like that, you make me sound like some disgusting pervert with an imp fetish, Blitzy, and I resent that you would ever think of me that way!"

"I think of you that way because that's what you are, you fucking prick! Admit it, the only reason you suggested our fucking deal is because you like getting fucked by someone who wasn't born with a crown on their head," Blitzø shot back, "You only want to fuck me because I'm an imp. If I was a Goetia, or a Hellhound, fuck, even a sinner, you wouldn't have any interest in me."

Stolas blinked like he was unable to believe that Blitzø could be angry at him. In his eyes, he'd never done anything to hurt the imp, or to make him think that his race was the only thing he liked about him. How could Blitzø think of him this way?

"I've always thought so highly of you, Blitzø. I didn't realise that you thought so lowly of me."

"Oh, and here come the tears! Places everyone, the show is about to begin!" Blitzø huffed as Stolas sobbed quietly into his palms, "What are you gonna do, cry until I feel bad for not wanting to be your side piece anymore?"

"I don't want you to be my side piece! I gave you the Asmodean crystal because I wanted you to have the freedom to choose me!"

The revelation that Stolas wanted him to choose him disappointed Blitzø, but it didn't surprise him. "So that's what this was about? You didn't actually want to free me from our deal?"

"Like I said, I wanted you to choose me," Stolas wept, holding his hands over his heart.

Blitzø breathed a heavy sigh. "I should have known. You thought that you could give me an Asmodean crystal, and that that would somehow make all of the fucked up shit you've done ok, didn't you?" he huffed, "What? Did you think that I wanted to sleep with you all of those times? Because I didn't. The only reason I let you do any of this to me is because I had to do it to keep my business afloat."

The imp punched an expensive-looking vase full of white roses off of the windowsill. "You thought that you could give me an Asmodean crystal, and then what? I'd be all like, 'oh, thank you, Stolas, now instead of sexually abusing me once a month, you can do it whenever you want instead! My body is yours to exploit, my prince!'"

Stolas picked up one of the roses. "I didn't want you to be my affair partner anymore, Blitzø. I wanted you to be my lover, but instead of accepting my feelings for you, you're painting me as some sort of monster."

He gathered the flowers up as if he wanted to make a bouquet with them. "I'm in love with you, Blitzø. I've been in love with you for the longest time, and when I gave you the crystal, I wanted you to know that I didn't want our relationship to be purely about sex anymore. I wanted you, all of you."

Blitzø turned his back on Stolas, balking his fists up. "So you finally admit it. You never wanted to give me freedom, you wanted to guilt me into dating you. Well, eat shit, because that's never gonna happen."

He kicked open a door. "Our deal is done, so I never have to see you again, and I never want to. You're a selfish, entitled dickbag who's throwing a hissy fit like an incel because I don't want to date you after all the shit you put me through," he spat, "Next time Striker tries to kill you, I hope he finishes the fucking job, because I sure as shit won't be coming to save you."

Stolas pouted and threw the roses to one side. "You didn't save me anyway. You sent your employees to my rescue because you couldn't be bothered to come and save me"—

"Because I had to be there for my daughter!"

Blitzø turned to face the prince with hatred burning in his eyes. "I had to take Loona to get her Hellbies shot. She hates the hospital, she's terrified of needles, so I had to be there for her," he continued, "When was the last time you were there for your daughter? When Octavia went missing, you were more interested in fucking around with me than you were in finding her, and making sure that she was safe."

"But Blitzy, I"—

"Don't fucking call me Blitzy," he spat, "I'm out of here. Don't fucking talk to me ever again."

Blitzø stormed out of the palace, leaving Stolas all alone. For once in his life, the prince wondered if he was the one in the wrong. Was Blitzy right? Had he hurt him? Had he considered no one's feelings other than his own? No, Blitzy was the one in the wrong, not him. Blitzø was in the wrong for not choosing him.