Helluva Boss Headcanons and Randomness

What your favorite ship says about you

Moxillie: The only thing you want in life is a happy and loving marriage, and honestly, good for you. None of your relationships have worked out yet, but you're certain that one will someday

Stolitz: You unironically think that Claude Frollo is the true hero of The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Stolas/Stella: You are a bottom to end all bottoms. You don't want a powerful woman to step on you, no, you wouldn't be satisfied until she pressed you flat with a steamroller

Blitzika: You say that you hate your ex, but you're constantly beating yourself up over ruining your relationship with them, and if they wanted you back, you'd say yes in a heartbeat. You never moved on, and secretly you hope that they haven't moved on either

Blitzø/Loona: You are single-handedly keeping the stepdad porn industry alive, and I don't mean that in a good way. You need to touch some grass

Fizzmodeus: You say that you want what they have, but really you're looking for a rich and powerful sugar daddy to take care of you so that you'll never have to work again. Your ultimate goal is to be a trophy spouse, and you make no apologies for it

Beelzebub/Tex: You're a himbo with a thing for party girls capable of handling enough alcohol to pickle a blue whale's liver. If you drank half as much as your current girlfriend does, you'd need to have your stomach pumped, but somehow she can handle it just fine

Loona/Tex: Pick-me with a capital P. You're exclusively attracted to men who are already in relationships, and your favorite songs are You Belong With Me and Girlfriend because you fantasise about your crush dumping his current partner for you. You need to stop what you're doing and chase after someone who's 1.) Single and 2.) Interested in you

Andrealphus/Vassago: You're the same brand of aesthetic girly who's into Charlastor. You don't care if the characters you ship have any actual chemistry as long as they look good together