1
I had to find something that covered my cuts. Throwing shorts, dresses, hot pants and tops onto the carpet I searched for something with long sleeves. After about five minutes I gave up, sitting on the edge of the bed staring at my wrist. Sighing, I knew tonight was pointless. I was already in the worst mood and going round the clubs of oxford wasn’t going to help that.
Hannah and Maisie walked in, already dressed up in their shortest dresses and highest heels. They both stared at me, in my trackies and t shirt. Shaking her head, Hannah sat beside me “come on mate, we need to leave soon”
Placing my face in my palms, I shook my head “go without me, I have nothing to cover this up” I gestured to my arm.
“Well whose fault is that!?” you could tell the second after she said this that Maisie regretted it. She covered her mouth “sorry I didn’t mean-“
“it’s okay, you’re right” I felt my eyes sting and had to cover my face once more so they didn’t see I was about to cry.
They walked over to my wardrobe and searched through the messy pile on the carpet. I just sat there, staring into space. Why did I have to be the unhappy one? Why couldn’t I be as care free as my friends? Why could I never fully enjoy myself anymore? Thing is I have the answer to all of those questions. I wasn’t with him anymore. Jack. He made me feel so good about myself. He brought the real me out. But then he left. Just like that, he was gone. I’m not good with loss, especially when someone like him walks out of my life for no apparent reason.
“Here!” Maisie stood up, her cheeks slightly flushed. She held up my short red dress, with strappy sleeves.
“That will show my-“I stopped in my tracks as Hannah held up my leather jacket. Smiling they threw the clothes at me and made their way to the door “you’ve got 15 minutes, then we have to leave” Hannah said, following Maisie out of the room.
I stared down at the clothes on my lap. I knew I had no choice, I had to go. Taking a deep breath, I slipped into the red dress. Staring at my reflection, I remembered a similar night about this time last year. I could almost see jack stood behind me, with his big strong arms tightly wrapped around my waist. The memory killed me inside, remembering how happy I had been that night, how happy he used to make me.
I shook my head, no Lilly forget just for one night let yourself forget I said.
Sitting down at my dressing table, I applied all my make-up. By now I was starting to feel almost excited. It was the first time me and the girls had been out together since… well since jack left.
“YOU READY?” Hannah shouted up at me.
I got up from my chair, sprayed some perfume on my neck and took one last look in the mirror. I didn’t look good, but at least you couldn’t tell in the clubs.
“Finally” Maisie said, as I hopped off the last step and took a swig from Hannah’s monster can.
“That isn’t monster…” I said passing it back to her.
“Oh I know it’s just something to get us started” she smiled.
The three of us made our way up the road and towards the bus stop; for once it was already there so we had to run. Sounds simple doesn’t it but when you have stiletto heels on its pretty hard work. After almost breaking my ankle, I followed them onto the bus.
We sat down at the back “where are we going first?” I yawned
“Bar 99 I reckon?” Maisie said.
Me and Hannah nodded “its sick there.” She paused obviously thinking whether she should say something or not “we can find you someone new” there was an eerie silence as I absorbed what she’d just said.
