Dirty Little Boys

Chapter 1

Psst. Butters, Clyde, Tweek, Kyle... C'mere." The four boys had walked out of their last class before lunch when the dark figure appeared.

"Buh-Bebe? What're dressed like that for?" Butters rubbed his knuckles together. Bebe was wearing sunglasses and a headscarf. Didn't she know the sun doesn't shine in the windowless hallways? She sure did look strange.

Kyle and Clyde glanced at each other. Kyle crossed his arms. Bebe usually didn't go out of her way to talk to them. Why should they listen to her? Her sunglasses made her seem extra shady.

Gah! Too... much... pressure.

"Shh. Just come here." Bebe led the boys into the home ec room. Kyle reluctantly followed. He was losing valuable meal time by humoring her. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't slightly curious. Bebe pulled a chair under the doorknob. Nobody would come in and surprise them this way. Things needed to be kept under wraps. None of the girls could know about this.

"What do you want, Bebe?" Kyle asked; his arms were still folded carefully over his chest.

"It's obvious she wants me." Clyde flicked his bangs. He posed for a few seconds with one hand on his hip, the other still near his hair. Bebe rolled her eyes before sweeping them across the room to make sure they were alone.

"Keep your voices down. I'm doing this out of the niceness of my heart. You guys better be thankful..." Tweek grunted and twitched. "The girls made another list."

"Oh no. I'm out. I don't want to hear it!" Kyle began to walk toward the door. Clyde grabbed his shoulder. Clyde's eyes started glittering.

"Aw, hamburgers. Which girl was kicked in the nuts this time?" Butters rubbed his knuckles against each other until the skin was red.

"Stay, Kyle. I'm telling you this to help you out. Butters, girls don't have nuts. You're in high school; you should know that by now."

"What was the list about?" Clyde was practically panting with enthusiasm.

"Gah! I-I don't want to know either. It's better not to- ah!- know their secrets."

"Chill! The list was about the stinkiest guys." All of the boys stopped moving and gaped at Bebe.

Stinky? Kyle pulled his jacket to his nose. Okay, well yeah. He wore his jacket every day, but it was comfortable! His mom made him wash it at least once a month. The clothes he wore underneath were always clean. He liked taking showers. They were refreshing. Deodorant did scare him kind of.

He did smell a little body odor, but it wasn't that bad!

"M-my mom's gonna ground me if I'm the stinkiest..." Butters had a sad, shocked look on his face. He would be grounded until next school year if his parents found out. That's especially bad because he was supposed to go off to college next year!

"Guys, I told you this to help you. I have some stuff that will take away the smell." Bebe took off her glasses and scarf. She dug into her backpack and pulled out four vials of... something. "My mom got this shipment in from her beauty product supplier. These were free samples. They're supposed to take away all bad smells." Bebe tossed the vials to the boys, one by one. Kyle and Clyde caught theirs without fail. Butters' slipped out of his hand. He tossed it between his two hands trying to get a grip on it before grabbing it with both hands. Tweek dodged and cowered. Gah!

Kyle took the cap off the package and sniffed. It didn't smell girly. It didn't smell like anything in particular. "Why are you helping us again?"

"Kyle, stop being a pessimist. That list was stupid, and I feel that it demoralized us girls as well as you boys." She sniffed and stuck up her nose. The boys wouldn't want to deal with an offended Bebe.

"W-well, I sure do appreciate it, Bebe! W-what do we d-do with this?"

"It's like a deodorant. You twist the bottom and the product comes through the vents in the top. You put it under your arms. You can put it on your pulse points too!"

"Pulse points...?" Clyde asked in his nasally voice. He was eying the small amounts of liquid that came to the top of the vial.

"You know, where you can feel your pulse. Your neck, your wrist, behind your ears. Girls put perfume there all the time."

"We're not girls." Kyle huffed. He wasn't taking this enlightenment gracefully. The guys never told him he smelled bad. Did Stan think he smelled bad?

"Obviously." Bebe rolled her eyes again. "Look, I'm just trying to help. Whether you listen or not is your problem." Bebe placed her glasses back on and tied her scarf around her head once again.

"W-well, I sure don't want to b-be a stinky beaver!" Butters chirped out while he applied the deodorant under his arms.

"I don't think you understand what that means," Clyde said as he followed suit.

Tweek had crawled over to his plastic vial and smelled the product thoroughly before applying it on his skin. If he wasn't careful, he could attract deadly predators with his stench! Gah, that would be horrible. Kyle sighed and joined the crowd. The stupid thing didn't have an odor, so nothing lost or gained if it didn't work.

"I'm going to lunch now." Kyle scooted the chair out from below the doorknob and walked out. The other three boys followed. Today was meatloaf day! Who didn't love meatloaf?

When the boys left, Bebe pulled out her cellphone and pushed send. Her phone called the last person she had spoken to.

"Phase one, completed." Bebe said into the receiver.

"Excellent."