Dirty Little Boys

Chapter 2

Kyle walked into the cafeteria with Butters, Clyde, and Tweek. He still felt a little miffed and embarrassed. He looked at his usual table. Kenny was gesturing with his hands while Stan laughed.

Wouldn't Kenny smell worse than him? He was poor and couldn't afford to bathe every day. He probably would have benefited from that deodorant stuff more than Kyle. Kyle could have afforded to buy his own. He didn't need to accept handouts.

His eyes flicked to Cartman. That fat ass had to smell worse than him! He sweated so easily... The majority of Cartman's shirts had pit stains. Just thinking about Cartman wanted Kyle to hold his nose and/or vomit.

Stan. Of course Stan wouldn't smell worse than Kyle. Kyle could feel his cheeks tinge pink. Whatever, Stan just cared more about what people thought about him. That's the only reason Kyle thought he smelled good.

Kyle plopped down in the seat next to Stan. Butters sat down next to Kenny, while Clyde and Tweek went to join Token and Craig's table.

"Dude, where were you? You barely have enough time to eat before home ec." Stan shuffled a spoonful of spinach into his mouth. He slurped a string up. Kyle felt a mix of disgusted and turned on. What? Wait, no.

"Clyde and Tweek had some questions about AP Biology. Butters and I stayed after class to help them." Kyle glanced at Butters. His eyes begged him to go along with his little fib. He didn't want Stan... Cartman to know about the list. Besides, Butters couldn't get grounded for what his parents didn't know. Cartman would be the first one to skip to poor Butters' house to tell Linda and Chris.

"Fucking lame, dude. Lunch is the only time we get to hang out." Kenny ruffled Butters' little poof of hair.

"We all have fucking home ec after lunch. That class is for fags. Only hippies would make home ec a required class for boys," Cartman grumbled through his mouthful of mashed potatoes.

"W-well, I s-sure am hungry!" Butters left the table to stand in the dwindling line.

"So Jew, how much are they paying you to tutor? They breaking your balls?" Cartman had food all around and in his mouth.

"Don't choke, fat ass," Kyle snarled as he went to join Butters in line. "Butters, we can't tell them about the list, okay? It's bad enough the girls know. Think about if Cartman knew." Kyle shuddered at the thought.

"A-aw, shucks. I'm n-not telling Eric anything!" Butters turned red. He grabbed his tray of food and started to walk toward their table. "I-I hope Tweek and Clyde d-don't say nothin'."

Kyle glanced at the other boys' table as they walked by. Craig knowing about them would almost be as bad as Cartman. Craig had been a dick ever since they made him and Tweek fight way back in elementary.

"... and that's why Indians love pickles!" Cartman was still covered in food. He was trying hard to cover Stan and Kenny as well. His spewed words were even more enraging than his spewed food apparently. Kenny had punched Cartman on the arm.

"That's sick, man!"

"Coming from the guy who has every STD and STI known to man."

"Shut up! That's not true! I'm disease-free." Kenny winked at Butters when he said the last bit.

Kyle had a strong urge to sniff his jacket again. He wondered if that stuff really had worked. He didn't know if it diminished pre-existing smells or not. Bebe didn't say.

"...baby." Stan was looking at Kyle. What did he say?
"I'm sorry, what?"

"I was saying we're getting babies in home ec today."