Freesmart Does It Again.

icy's new entry.

🧊 (mentions of suicide???? what'd you expect dude)) 🧊

Match has been talking to me l weird. It's. . . Unsavory, I guess. She's been telling me to kill myself. I'm pretty sure she's doing it as a joke. Y'know, because I've been hanging out with Pencil a lot more, and they're all. . . buddy-buddy? I don't really know any of the right words to describe it. It's kind of upsetting, I think?? I'm seriously just thinking about doing it. I'd rather that than constantly have nagging in my ear telling me to. telling me I 'fucked up the last challenge' or I 'made the whole team look stupid in front of the others'. Which is really weird and out of character for match. usually when she's mean to me, it's like. . . backhanded girly complements. But god having her like this is so exhausting. I'm embarrassed to even go outside, if I'm just gonna screw over my team. I really do like them. So. . . I'm trying to keep my head down and stay out of the way until I fix myself. I'm sure book's gonna blow a gasket if she finds out. that'd suck even worse, i can't imagine.

If I were to do it, I'd probably take the easy way out. dissolve myself in the bath, or something. I don't know. Match says I'd jump from somewhere if I was smart. My school building is pretty tall, actually. . . And I guess that would cause a bigger stir, and the other kids would get out of school for a few days.