One's Core - Outlander Fanfic

2.

I have always liked my job, it wasn't what I originally thought my life would be, but it's definitely more fulfilling than boot camp.

The baby was looking me straight in the eyes, it had stopped crying after a few seconds out and was on his mom's chest. I was holding him after getting all his marks, and cleaning him, waiting for his mom to be ready.

His eyes not even able to see anything were looking at me, normally this was something that I would be happy to see, but it was unsettling, like he knew that I had a whirlwind on my shoulders. That I was putting something off, a divine sign to figure my shit out.

"Okay, I'm ready," she said with a shaky voice.

"Nice job Danica, you did so good, and see I told you it would be worth it in the end."

"Thank you," she was crying as she held him, "so beautiful."

It had been three days since I got off the phone with Annika, three long days. As I decided what to do, what exactly was I hoping to find when I went to Scotland.

I sat in my apartment in silence as I stared at the pamphlet I was given from my travel agent. 'Scotland, the place you'll want to be.'

My worst thought was that I would find one of three things, my mom went insane and got herself lost in a different country after Dad died and somehow Bri got involved. Or maybe whomever the heart of this strange 'boy toy' my sister broke hunted her down and, I can't even think of it.

But what I was most afraid of was what if what they were saying was true, what if they did in fact travel back through time. What if my biological father is some strange man from the 1700s that my mother fell in love with. The implications of that scientifically make my brain feel as though it's being thrown about inside of my head.

"Does that make me and Bri over 100?" I asked myself, then pulled on my hair groaning loud, "what am I even saying!"

I looked down at my table, their letters, and the document that sent my sister to warn them in-front of me. It was clear, my mother's name was on it, including 'Jaime Fraser.'

What was I even aiming to accomplish by going to Scotland? Find them, or if this all true, join them? No I couldn't, my entire career is here, all of the time and money spent to change careers will not go to waste. If it were to even begin to be true, I would be sending myself to a time where women are no more than cattle. No, I couldn't.

These questions stuck with me from one week to the next, till the day I boarded that plane and landed in Scotland.

I decided to stay in the inn my parents went to on their honeymoon, somewhat cryptic, but also symbolic to me.

But am I even allowed to call him my father? From what mother wrote, if it's true, he knew the entire time, of course him and Brianna had a very close relationship, as he did with me. Did he ever look at us with hate I wonder.

I thought about it as I got ready, looking at myself in the mirror, rain pouring outside. I decided to look out the window, the weather just adding to my poor mood.

I shook my head, I know he didn't, if he did I would've known he wasn't my biological father. He would've treated us with disdain, but he was benevolent. My thoughts stalled, leaving a feeling of frustration, I decided to fling myself onto the bed and scream into the pillow.

Once I had satisfied the feeling I got up reluctantly, grabbing the letters and papers I had brought. I walked down the stairs and saw the young woman behind the desk.

"Good morning! How are we feeling this morning?" She asked.

"Good, the bed was as comfortable as you described," I strained a smile.