SKINNY || HYUNHO

X

Hyunjin woke up with a splitting headache. The events of the previous night weighed heavily on his mind, a toxic blend of rejection, anxiety, and self-loathing swirling through his thoughts. He sat up slowly, the room spinning slightly from the combination of hunger and stress.

The image of Minho kissing Jisung was seared into his memory, a painful reminder of his own perceived inadequacies. The voices in his head, the cruel taunts of his classmates, and his own harsh self-criticism grew louder and more insistent.

After a few moments of trying to steady himself, Hyunjin made his way to the bathroom. He filled the bathtub with hot water, hoping that the warmth would provide some comfort, some temporary relief from the relentless barrage of negative thoughts.

As he sank into the hot water, the steam rising around him, Hyunjin closed his eyes and submerged his head, desperate for a moment of silence, a moment without the tormenting voices. But even under the water, they were still there, echoing in his mind, louder and more oppressive.

He resurfaced, gasping for air, the steam mixing with the tears that streamed down his face. His eyes fell on the razor blade lying on the edge of the sink, its metallic gleam catching the light. The temptation it represented was both terrifying and irresistible.

Hyunjin's heart pounded in his chest as he reached for the blade. His hands trembled as he held it, his mind a chaotic swirl of despair and self-loathing. The memories of every cruel word, every rejection, and every moment of feeling worthless played out in his mind.

He thought of Minho, the way his heart had soared every time Minho smiled at him, the warmth and hope that had filled him. And then the crushing blow of seeing Minho with Jisung, the cold, impersonal message that had followed.

The voices grew louder, a cacophony of pain and self-hatred. "You're worthless. You'll never be good enough. You're a failure."

With tears streaming down his face, Hyunjin pressed the blade to his thigh, the sharp edge biting into his skin. The pain was both excruciating and oddly comforting, a physical manifestation of the emotional agony he was experiencing. He watched as the blood began to flow, mixing with the water in the bathtub, turning it a deep, crimson red.

The tears came harder now, his body shaking with sobs. The water around him was stained with his blood and his despair. He felt trapped in his own mind, unable to escape the torment that consumed him.

As the pain and fear intensified, Hyunjin realized that this was not the answer. But the weight of his suffering felt insurmountable, and he didn't know how to climb out of the dark pit he had fallen into.

He dropped the razor, the metallic clink echoing in the small bathroom. His sobs filled the room, a heartbreaking symphony of pain and desperation. Hyunjin hugged his knees to his chest, the hot water growing cooler around him, the blood and tears mingling in the tub.

In that moment of utter despair, Hyunjin made a silent vow to himself. He needed help. He couldn't continue down this path alone. But the first step, the hardest step, was to reach out to someone, to find the courage to ask for help before it was too late.

As he slowly climbed out of the tub, wrapping himself in a towel, he knew that he needed to survive this night, to find a way to keep going. For himself, and maybe, just maybe, for a future where he could find peace and self-acceptance.