SKINNY || HYUNHO

XI

Hyunjin's thighs were still bleeding slightly as he staggered out of the tub, his panic growing with each passing second. He searched frantically for bandages in the bathroom cabinet, his hands shaking uncontrollably. The sight of his own blood made his heart race even faster, and he felt like he was spiraling out of control.

"I can't believe I did this," he whispered to himself, tears blurring his vision. The reality of his actions hit him hard, and he felt a crushing sense of shame and regret. He needed someone, anyone, to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. But there was no one. The isolation was suffocating, and his breath came in short, ragged gasps as he fought against the rising tide of panic.

His phone buzzed on the desk, the sound jolting him out of his daze. He crawled over to it, tears streaming down his face, and saw that it was a message from Chan: "Hey, you left your hoodie in my car last night. I'm at your door to give it back."

Hyunjin's panic intensified. He couldn't let Chan see him like this-naked, bleeding, and in the middle of a breakdown. The thought of Chan seeing his body, which he perceived as disgusting and fat despite the emerging bones, was unbearable.

He heard his mother's voice from downstairs. "Hyunjin is in his room. You can go up."

His heart stopped as the door opened, and Chan stepped in, closing it quietly behind him. Chan's eyes widened in shock at the sight of Hyunjin on the floor, his thighs bleeding and his body trembling with panic. But he quickly composed himself, kneeling beside Hyunjin.

"Hey, Hyunjin, it's okay. I'm here," Chan said softly, his voice steady and calm. He placed a hand on Hyunjin's shoulder, trying to ground him. "Breathe with me, okay? In and out, slowly."

Hyunjin struggled to follow Chan's lead, his breath hitching as he clung to Chan's shoulders, desperate for some sense of stability. Slowly, under Chan's patient guidance, his breathing began to steady, and the overwhelming panic started to recede.

"Focus on me," Chan instructed. "Inhale for four seconds. One, two, three, four. Good. Now hold it for four seconds. One, two, three, four. Now exhale slowly for eight seconds. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight."

Hyunjin tried to mimic Chan's breathing, his breaths uneven at first, but gradually becoming more controlled. Chan kept his voice low and soothing, repeating the breathing exercise until Hyunjin's breaths were steady.

"Good job, Hyunjin. You're doing great," Chan encouraged. "Keep breathing with me. In for four, hold for four, out for eight."

Hyunjin's grip on Chan's shoulders tightened, his nails digging in slightly, but Chan didn't flinch. He continued to guide Hyunjin through the breathing exercises, his presence a steadying force in the chaos.

After several minutes, Hyunjin's breathing had calmed significantly, though tears still streamed down his face. Chan offered him a small, reassuring smile. "You're doing really well, Hyunjin. Just keep breathing."

Hyunjin nodded weakly, his body still trembling, but the acute sense of panic had started to fade. He leaned into Chan, his sobs quieting as he found some semblance of comfort in the other boy's presence.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Chan asked gently, not wanting to push too hard but needing to understand.

Hyunjin shook his head, his voice barely above a whisper. "I... I can't. It's too much."

"That's okay. You don't have to say anything you're not ready to," Chan reassured him. "But we need to take care of those cuts. Can I help you with that?"

Hyunjin's eyes widened with fear and embarrassment. The thought of Chan seeing his body made him want to crawl into a hole. "I...I can't. I'm so ashamed."

"Hey, listen to me," Chan said, his voice firm but kind. "I won't look, okay? I just want to make sure you're safe. I promise, I'll only do what you're comfortable with."

Hyunjin hesitated, his mind a whirl of conflicting emotions. But the earnest concern in Chan's eyes made him nod slowly. "Okay."

Chan retrieved the first-aid kit and knelt beside Hyunjin. "I'm going to clean and bandage your cuts. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

Hyunjin closed his eyes, tears still streaming down his face as he let Chan tend to his wounds. Chan worked with a gentle touch, his movements careful and precise. True to his word, he focused solely on the task at hand, not looking at Hyunjin's body more than necessary.

The room was quiet, save for the sound of Hyunjin's occasional sniffles and Chan's soothing reassurances. Once the cuts were cleaned and bandaged, Chan sat back, offering Hyunjin a small, supportive smile.

"You're going to be okay," Chan said softly. "I'm here for you, Hyunjin. You're not alone."

Hyunjin looked at him, his heart heavy with gratitude and sorrow. He didn't have the words to express how much Chan's presence meant to him, but the warmth in Chan's eyes told him he understood.

For the first time in a long while, Hyunjin felt a glimmer of hope. It was faint, but it was there. And with Chan by his side, maybe-just maybe-he could find a way to heal.