𝙶𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚘𝚢 - 𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚗

13

My eyes open slowly to the scene of the beach and Rafe's large muscular body towering over me, and the feeling of Rafe pulling back from the kiss. For a second i think he might kiss me again, but he steps back, a regretting glint in his eye.
"Im really sorry i shouldnt have done that" he turns away, eyes glistening with tears as he faces toward the sea, reaching his hand for the back of his head, comforting himself. A pain twangs in my heart as he says it, did he not want to? Does he not like me like that? Was it just a rash, spurr of the moment decision? Thoughts thrash around my head and pull at my heartstrings as he lightly paces a small section of the beach.
"We should probably just forget about that..." he says with a obvious twinge of pain in his voice. My heart drops to my shoes and i cant think straight. He never liked me. I was only delusional, we're just friends. His face emulates a scene of complete and utter guilt and his eyes glisten more at seeing my reaction. He goes to say something else, to fix what he did, to take back the sentence but i stop him before he can say one word.
"Okay... that would be easiest" i splutter out, my voice shaky and uncertain, but i say it because i feel if he wouldve taken it back that hed be doing it for me, and that i know better than to put my best friend in a situation where hes slowed down by me, so i say what i want him to think is true.

A silence settles between us on the car ride home. He insisted i wasnt leaving his house with anyone else. The night was thicker than a smoky fume, and a dark haze had settles over the roads as we made the journey back home. I left the car immediately when we got there, needing to find shelter alone. This time Rafe stayed in the car, watching me carefully as i unlock the door and turn back to him as i enter,
"Thank you for the ride, Rafe" I say as his face drops, as if he was expecting something else. But he turns, rolling up the passenger window as he tips his head a little and smiles, as a 'your welcome'. But his eyes remain sad as he drives off leaving me alone with the actions of today bounding around in my head.

Mabels down and i pace back and forth in the living room, thinking of what couldve gone differently. I wanted him to kiss me again. I wanted him to not regret it. I want him to like me. I finally sit down after a few minutes, blood still pounding at my eardrums. I open my phone, the bright lockscreen of Mabel and my mum at the beach illuminating my face. I hope to see a message from Rafe. I see nothing. Except one message, theres a new message from Daisy, 'I wish you wouldve stayed at the party, its crazy in here' it reads, with a small photo sent below. I tap the picture and it pops up larger on my screen. Its a selfie of Kelce and Daisy, his arm wrapped around her shoulder and theyre pulling stupid faces in the middle of ac crowd , But thats not the thing that catches my eye. In the corner of the screen lights  up Rafe, wearing the same outfit, eyes sadder but expression ready to kill, because standing next to him is JJ maybank. And in that moment i know nothing other than to cry. Because i dont know what ive got myself into. But i know ive fallen head over heals for Rafe Cameron.