𝙶𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚋𝚘𝚢 - 𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚗

7

My eyes flood with tears as i release small sobs into my living room, my sweet baby girl clutched tightly in my arms. Her soft face is still and her breathing slow as she sleeps, her head hopefully filling with sweet dreams. Mum left a while ago and i need time just me and Mabel. She snores lightly as i kiss her head, my head still pounding with sadness and eyes still brimming with pain. I need to talk to someone, I need someone to tell me im going to be alright, I need a hug. So, I call the only person i can think of, Rafe. I put my baby to bed, trying so hard not to wake her, and i tiptoe out of the room. The bright phone lights up my mascara stained face as it starts ringing. He picks up after a couple of seconds, finally
"Hey princess- Are you okay?" He notices my puffed eyes and my messy hair, looking surprised.
"No," i look down, i cant even bare to make eye contact with him, " Rafe, im really sorry, I just need someone here" i manage to strangle out in a half sob.
He gets up, and grabs something out of frame, clearly rushing out if the house.
"Hey, dont worry, im coming over right now," He says softly his car enginge starting up in the background.
"Thank you rafe,"

I heard the noise of his car reving down the street 2 minutes before i even saw the bright headlights glow against my curtains. The sound of his rushed footsteps rushes up the stairwell as i go to unlock the door. He stands at the top as i open it, not waiting for me to even pull the door completely open before rushing just and enveloping me into a tight hug, his warm scent lacing my nostrils and his tall frame complete shielding me. We stand like this for a while, not moving, not swaying, not muttering words to each other but just completely moulding together. After a couple if minutes i let go, inviting him in. He closes the door behind him and we walk slowly towards the sofa.
"Tell me what's wrong princess," he tells me, looking sympathetically. I break down. Tears flood to my eyes again and my words get strangled in my throat.
"Everything. All of it, its all wrong." i cry harder, sob louder, " Its just so hard." We look at each other for a while, communicating without words. But its not enough, i need to tell him everything. All of it. "I have a child!" i laugh even though tears flood my eyes, "Im 19 years old, with a child! I have no one here for me, no father for Mabel- God not even a father for myself. He cant even look me in my eyes, let alone acknowledge my need for help or- shit, Love!" My throat is hoarse and my cheeks stinging. My hair sticks to the top of my forehead and my eyelashes bounce under the weight of my tears. He looks at me though. He looks at me, and it seems as though he sees right through me. Not the exterior, not the struggling single teen mum, he just sees me. "And jj! The fact he has the guts to show his face around me! The audacity of him to flaunt his perfect little real teenage life, whilst im having to work full time so i dont sink with debt and baby food and- ugh fuck- i just cant do this," I say, the anger in me subsiding as im overcome with tears again. I look at him weekly, i almost cant believe i called him, i was so stupid. "Im sorry- I shouldnt be dumping all of this on you, im so sorry" I cry harder, but really i do want him here, to hold me. "I- just dont want to do this alone anymore," i choke, but this time wraps me up in his arms, and i just sob. Enveloped by the warmth and comfort of his body wrapped around mine.
"You aren't alone okay?" He whisper, brushing my hair comfortingly as he rocks me back and forth. "Im here". We stay like this, our bodies tangled together as we sit, my sobbing filling the room, until the soft sound of Mabel's cries creep down the hallway. I get up hastily, and i wipe my eyes as he remains sat. I wonder down the hall, now thankful she woke up, because i long to hold her in my arms. I pick her up gently and she batts her long eyelashes at me and stares happily, her soft dimples coming through when she smiles. I walk slowly back into the living room, staring down at my beautiful daughter.
"But how can i complain, i mean i have the most beautiful girl in the world right here," I wipe tears from dripping down my eyes as i sit down close to Rafe. He looks at me and smiles sweetly, his eyes twinkle in the soft glow of the living room candles. And in that moment i know i wont be alone again, and im happy for that.