Remus Lupin Comfort 🤎

flashback pt 3

remus and lily wandered through hogsmead together, arm in arm. snow piled in huge drifts, and the wind was bitter, almost melancholy. at least, that was how remus saw it. there was no point in being jolly or cheerful, not when burdened by unrequited love.

they walked for a few minutes in silence, taking in the hustle and bustle of pre-holiday shopping, before lily finally gave in.

"remus, what's wrong?" she looked up to see his face. in the last year, remus had been blessed with a much needed growth spurt, and he now had the typically lanky teenager build, with much too large feet and long arms.

"nothing. i am completely and utterly fine." he stared straight ahead. lily huffed a sigh of frustration.

"i could help, you know. i'm quite good at listening." remus considered this for a moment, and shook his head.

"not with this. nothing can fix this." she rolled her eyes. typical boys and their unsolvable catastrophes.

"ok. try me." she came to a dead stop, looking into his eyes. "what. is. wrong." she had a suspicion, had for several months now, but she would let him say it.

his voice attempted to be monotone, but he couldn't mask the anguish he was feeling. "i have a crush on my best friend and i don't want to ruin our friendship and he doesn't like me back and he's going to hate me-" his voice broke. "he's going to hate me if he knows i'm g- who i am."

she hugged him. "sirius would never hate you." lily's ear was pressed against his chest, and she could hear his heart thumping, and the rattling of his breath. "I promise."

"you don't know that."

she did, actually. it was quite clear to her that sirius liked him back. by some miracle the rest of the world hadn't caught on, but nothing ever got past lily evans.

they stood there for a second, still embracing. lily waited for him to talk again.

"you promise you won't tell anyone?"

she stepped back to look remus in the eyes. "I would never."

---

the winter holidays came and went. the marauders arrived back at hogwarts cheered from christmas and ready to take on the rest of their fourth year. that is to say, the marauders minus sirius.

"what's the matter mate?" james asked him as they boarded the hogwarts express. padfoots face was paler and thinner than it was when he left.

he didn't answer.

"hello? how was your break?" james, bless his soul, never knew when the leave something the hell alone.

"fuck off, prongs." sirius' face was a combination of sullen and empty. it was almost scary.

peter looked anxiously between the two of them, as if he expected a brawl to break out any second. remus very pointedly stowed his bag in the overhead carry-on space with his back to sirius. not my circus, not my monkeys, he thought vehemently. of course, sirius' wellbeing was very much his circus, and sirius was definitely his monkey. there was hardly a waking moment over break where he wasn't thinking about him. what is padfoot doing? how terrible is padfoot's family being? does padfoot miss me like i miss him? pathetic.

"fine," james replied with a mildness that didn't reflect the atmosphere. "moony what about you? get anything good for christmas?"

he turned around to answer, only to make direct eye contact with sirius, who was staring at him as if he'd never seen him before.

"what?" remus began to sweat. why did he wear this warm sweater anyway?

"you've gotten taller." this was true, evidenced by his too-short trousers and the fact that the top of james' head only came up to his nose.

remus felt his stomach lurch, like he was falling. "yeah? what about it?" the words came out more aggressively than he intended.

sirius's pale skin flushed. "nevermind," he muttered, burrowing his face into a book on NEWT level transfigurations. james looked puzzled.

"wh-" prongs started.

"well james, i got a nice new chess set, so wormtail here no longer has an excuse to not learn," remus interrupted.

"i can't play chess! you know i can't remus!" peter protested. confusion forgotten, james joined in the conversation, and it seemed as everything was back to normal.

soooo.... sorry about that long wait guys 😬 but i'm back! kind of a disjointed chapter, but i promise there's a plot line forming here! most of the chapters from here on out will be alternating between y/n's story and marauders flashbacks

as always please star and comment if you enjoyed! love you all