Things We Can't Tell (Cold Case Series 1)

xi

The survivor

𝙰 𝚂𝚄𝚁𝚅𝙸𝚅𝙾𝚁 𝙵𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳. 𝙲𝚁𝙸𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙰𝙻 𝙾𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙾𝙾𝚂𝙴. 

 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟼𝟽 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛 ***** 𝙷𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚕𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚍. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚖 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝙻𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚎𝚢 𝚁𝚊𝚔𝚎, 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚘𝚛. 

 𝚂𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚜𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚓𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚞𝚖𝚊. 

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚟𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍. 𝙽𝚘 𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍.

S E S S I O N  11

Lindsey's breathing grew more weak, each gasps more desperate than the last. Her eyes were wide with terror, darting around as if searching for something—anything—that could save her. I tried to comfort her, my hands trembling as I stroked her hair, but it was useless.

"It'll be okay, Lindsey," I murmured, my voice breaking. "Help is coming. Just hold on."

But her expression twisted into something else—rage and despair mixed with fear. Tears streamed down her face, and she seemed to be struggling, trying to say something, but no sound came out. Her eyes locked onto mine, filled with pain that tore at my heart.

Why is she looking at me like that? I didn't mean to shoot her! It was an accident!

My feelings change, seeing her expression. It's not my fault, right? I'm just protecting myself!

The fear in her eyes was locked in mine. s̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶e̶s̶c̶a̶p̶e̶. Memories began to flash back, fragments of the night replaying in my mind with disturbing clarity. s̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶e̶s̶c̶a̶p̶e̶ I saw myself holding the gun, hiding it. s̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶e̶s̶c̶a̶p̶e̶ I saw myself running through the hallways in a frantic state, the sound of my own footsteps echoing in the darkness. s̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶e̶s̶c̶a̶p̶e̶

I stared at her, my mind blank. Why couldn't I remember clearly? What had really happened?

My breathing became heavy, matching Lindsey's gasps. I̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶e̶s̶c̶a̶p̶e̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶h̶w̶e̶r̶e̶.̶ The realization hit me like a punch to the gut.  

Lindsey couldn't speak. She was truly mute. She couldn't have said the things I'd heard in my nightmares. It was all in my mind.

Lindsey's eyes never left mine, and as her breaths became weaker. She was dying.

"Lindsey, how are you today?"

I could hear Lindsey's name, my words but not my voice. An image of an unfamiliar woman popped into my mind, sitting on a chair.

"Are you feeling well?"

She's talking to me.

"Let's check your journal, okay?"

She's in front of me, I opened my mouth. "Okay, Doctor Astrid."

F̶A̶K̶E̶!̶ Huh? 

I touched my head, eyes widened. I'm Doctor Astrid! L̶i̶n̶d̶s̶e̶y̶!̶ L̶i̶n̶d̶s̶e̶y̶!̶ L̶i̶n̶d̶s̶e̶y̶!̶ L̶i̶n̶d̶s̶e̶y̶!̶ L̶i̶n̶d̶s̶e̶y̶!̶ L̶i̶n̶d̶s̶e̶y̶!̶

I stared at her. My eyes cold, expression dead.

"Who are you?" I asked.

There was no answer, only a plea. Her eyes are on me, holding me accountable for the fear and pain I had caused. I watched emotionless as the light slowly faded from her eyes.

With one final, shuddering breath, she went still. 

I couldn't even blink, I couldn't breathe. I don't know what I've just seen, what I heard in my head. I sat there in silence, the reality of what had just happened sinking in. I couldn't control my emotions.

I killed her.

I killed Lindsey-

Is she Lindsey?

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