Late Night Writes

05/26/24

At five in the morning, my family called my mom and broke the news that my uncle had passed away. I heard my mom's cries, and I was devastated. I felt awful for her; one of her brothers had passed away, and she couldn't do anything about it.

He was one of my mother's favorite uncles among her five siblings. He was always kind and loving to me, and we thought he was getting better. He changed his diet, started working out, followed all the doctor's instructions, and took all the vitamins and pills to help his body recover, but it wasn't enough.

My uncle was sixty-two years old, and my father was older than him. Despite his age, my father acted like a fifty-year-old. I loved my uncle dearly, and seeing my mother and her siblings mourn his loss brought tears to my eyes and broke my heart. This morning, I cried alongside my mother, gently caressing her arm as I felt her pain. I cried to comfort her, hugged her tightly, and assured her everything would be okay.

My mother and her two siblings, who live closest to us, booked an airplane ticket for Mexico City to visit my aunt and my cousins in the morning as we speak at this very moment. I wanted to come with them, but unfortunately, my school has taken that opportunity away. I want to be there or my cousins because I've gotten to know them so much throughout my life, and to think about their father not being there made me tear up even more. 

I had to stay vital for my mother. I had to hold back the tears and comfort her as much as possible. My dad was also helping, and we both knew that when she would leave with my aunt and uncle to see my aunt in the morning, we would get choked up and tear up without my mother knowing.

I remember yesterday when my mother told me to call them, leave a nice message, and see how everything was, but I didn't. My exams were creeping around the corner, my projects were piling up. I told myself I would call them today, around ten in the morning, but I didn't make it in time before we heard the news. 

I can't beat myself up over it since there's no use now that he's gone. But a part of me wants to hate myself for not praying harder for his recovery. I get mad at myself for not calling them sooner instead of focusing so much on my studies. Sure, studies are essential, but my family should always come first. Health is more important than money. I must be healthy to live a happy, joyful, and free life. So, by putting my family to the side, putting them in second place of importance, I've lost my chance to say goodbye to him.

I'm at my desk, trying to write for myself, but I should study for my probability test tomorrow. However, I can't seem to focus. My mind keeps going back to my uncle and how alone he must have felt on the gurney in the hallway because there were no available rooms. My aunt was with him as he got sick on the gurney. It's such a heartbreaking way to pass away.

He didn't deserve to die so young; he had so much to look forward to in life, like walking his oldest daughter, my oldest cousin, down the aisle at her wedding. It's such a shame that he won't be there for that.

I hope my aunt and cousins can find peace and hope. They spent all their money on my uncle's care and are now broke. I don't know how they'll manage, but I'm sure they'll find a way. With my mom's help and the help of her siblings, I hope they can come out on top and have a good life.

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