Lifeboat Lighthouse

Chapter 8

Cruise Day 8 - Sicily (Freen's POV)

My hand wandered around the darkness, trying to silence the blaring sound of the alarm as quickly as possible. It was the sound I hated most in the world, especially on the days when I knew I would be stuck on the ship instead of exploring whatever beautiful city we had docked in. Unfortunately, there had to be staff members on the ship in case any passengers decided to stay on. Management tried to make it as fair as possible by rotating shifts so everyone had equal time off the ship, but I still couldn't help but feel a sort of resentment in the pit of my stomach every time I served a passenger while the ship was docked. Not only because they were wasting the opportunity to visit a beautiful city, but above all because they were wasting mine too. Why anyone would pay all that money and then actually not get off the ship was beyond me; they may as well have sat in their private pools in their own home.

Just at the moment when resentment was taking over me, it suddenly occurred to me that I would spend the evening with Becky. Maybe that day wasn't to be condemned after all.

I found myself smiling unconsciously at the thought of the beautiful brown-eyed girl and quickly tried to push it away. That wasn't supposed to happen, that wasn't the plan... but if I had to be completely honest with myself, I knew the second my lips touched hers that my initial plan had evaporated; it was over before it even really got started. It was as if my feelings hit me all at once, which took me quite by surprise because I had learned to accept the fact I wasn't capable of feelings. Yes, I could feel sexual desire and attraction, but the whole "really caring about someone as a person" thing was a little strange to me. Of course, out of all the billions of people on earth I could have feelings for, it HAD to be THAT girl.

My initial instinct had been to push her away and put as much distance between us as possible but, as much as I wanted to stay away from her, I simply couldn't. It was as if there was some sort of magnetic force pulling me towards her. She seemed so inevitable.

Maybe it was just a stroke of luck, maybe the more time I spent with Becky the less I would like her, and then I would be able to return to the goal I had originally set for myself. But if what I was feeling was truly genuine, it would complicate things in the long run, and that's what scared me the most.

In that moment, all I knew was that I enjoyed being with her, and that since she had come into my life, I didn't feel entirely empty. So regardless of whether that feeling lasted or not, I would let myself get caught up in it for as long as I felt it. As inconvenient and ironic as it was, maybe it was just what I needed.

***

I could barely concentrate on work, the thought of seeing Becky kept wandering in my head. I had to think of something discreet we could do that evening. I couldn't exactly take her to dinner or walk around the ship with her. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice the girl just a few feet away from me, calling me repeatedly.

"I know I'm from the staff but you still have to serve me." she laughed, looking slightly surprised.

I shook my head apologetically "Sorry Charlotte, I didn't even see you."

"You had your head completely in the clouds! Where did you leave your brain this morning?" Charlotte joked.

"Probably along with your sense of humor." I replied sarcastically, receiving a playful slap on the arm from the shorter girl.

"What are you doing tonight?" Charlotte asked. "I think some of us are going to go relax, do you want to join?"

"You know I usually would, but I already have plans, sorry." I replied, hoping she would let it go.

Of course she didn't. "Plans with who? Everyone we actually tolerate has already agreed to go out with me!" the girl giggled.

I felt my face heat up slightly.