𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 ( 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙡 )

𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙩𝙮-𝙨𝙞𝙭

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

look away

i paused and asked myself the same thing. did i mean that? would i actually want to take the whole thing for myself? writing hats was so balanced between maeve and i, an almost perfect fifty-fifty. i didn't have the right to claim the hundred. and, sure, neither of us would want to spend the next months working together on something born from a friendship that has been burned, but i wasn't about to let the film burn along with it.

my thoughts churned my stomach. i never wanted any of this to happen. "i don't know," i murmured.

"right," maeve said, "well, tell me when you do." she didn't say it rudely. almost dreamily, sadly. then she pulled out her phone and scrolled mindlessly.

i did the same after swiping out of the documents app. looking at the cast list just made me want to put myself in a cast. at least that would serve as some stability. god, i hated it when the external drama seeps into my brain and gets me all dramatic.

someone tapped my shoulder. it was jake; unusually, he was sitting at the table next to me. he lifted an eyebrow suspiciously. "hey, uh" -- there it was again -- "i heard about your little argument with maeve." i couldn't believe this dude was referring to maeve like she wasn't right next to me for a second time. "and i couldn't help but wonder who, uh, you were, uh, talking about?"

i snarled in disgusted disbelief. "that's none of your business."

maeve chuckled to herself softly. i quickly glanced in her direction instinctively, and saw her smirk back, her eyebrows raised proudly.

"i-- i, uh, just want to express my concern," he said shakily but with false confidence. though his straight, flat hair was overdue for a cut, it couldn't shield the way he failed to reciprocate eye contact.

"thanks," i said flatly. i didn't believe that was his motivation for asking; i was sure his big nose was taking on its role. i waited for the expected further response, but he turned to the fellows at his table, mortified. alright then.

mirroring him, i turned back as well and returned to the comfortable slouch over my phone. i tried to scroll, yet my ears latched onto the new, more natural, conversation he started with the two other boys.

"that wasn't what we meant when we said to find out," whispered someone named charlie desperately.

did they think that we couldn't hear them? i didn't move my head, but i looked up to see if maeve was listening too. just out of curiosity, of course. not because i wanted so badly to make fun of these boys together. i found that she was watching them intently.

"jake could really use a haircut," maeve whispered while nodding.

"that's what i was thinking!" i enthused under my breath. we briefly chuckled to each other, then realized and retreated back to listening and scrolling, no smile in sight.