𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 ( 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙡 )

𝙛𝙞𝙛𝙩𝙮-𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

seeing is believing

the first thing on the filming schedule was the brief group of outdoor scenes, set to be on the tuesday when actors' schedules somehow aligned or were cleared. that tuesday was in one day. i had been counting down for what felt like ages, and now it was tomorrow.

however, it wasn't until class on monday when violet was raving about how excited she was to film that i realized how scared i was. sure, i had been watching documentaries and youtube videos on spielberg and hitchcockian films and planning out how i would be directing hats mentally for over a year. but this wouldn't be taking place in the half of my life i lived in my head. i would be in reality, starting what i once thought would stay a dream. i had to wake up from that dream sooner or later, but this just seemed a little too soon.

and my expectations lied in the hands of many other people that i could only puppeteer in order to make my past self and current self proud and for all this build up of anxiety and drama to be worth something. no pressure.

i expressed these feelings to maeve later that day. she completely agreed, assuring me that she would be co-directing and co-feeling. that only made me more anxious. this process needed to go like silk. two big rips in the fiber and it won't look or feel pretty.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

"guess what today is," smiled violet. she was all smiles on tuesday.

"it's the first day of filming!" i said.

"y'know what? i'm super nervous," she admitted. "but i'm more excited. we've been waiting for this for so long, right? can't let all the waiting go to waste!"

"you're also nervous?"

"yeah. even some extras i've talked to are." she glanced across the room to her old seat. "madeline's the only calm and collected extra i've talked to. and according to her, even walker is nervous."

i stared at the back of his curly hair as if he was just a crush again. "huh," i said, "interesting." walker hadn't expressed any worry to me. what if madeline had only told violet a fib instead of her true jitters, since he was the professional and all? or it could be about the other thing which may or may not meet its expectations, our deal. that certainly had been making me anxious.

"after you guys and connor film the sidewalk scene, we'll all meet up at his house, correct?" asked violet.

"correct. i sent the detailed schedule in the cast chat, right? it's being printed in the library right now, so i could text maeve to make an extra copy if you want." maeve was printing the itinerary because jordyn wasn't able to use his phone. the poor guy couldn't send text messages and instead had to be sent back to the olden days.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

the sidewalk chosen to meet up was, ironically, peter avenue. maeve and i stumbled upon it on google earth when searching for nearby places, and it happened to have the perfect length of the sidewalk and small amount of houses. the street was only in the next town over, so it called for a trip short enough to walk by. still, i snuck out through the window earlier than necessary, a backpack with light equipment resting on my shoulders.

my parents knew i'd be seeing maeve to get work done on wednesday, so then i could use my door. that wasn't a lie -- we were indeed getting work done -- but my request was met with silent suspicion. i could tell they weren't sure if i was lying or if i was succumbing to my guilt. and i knew that gluing their trust back would be a whole other ordeal, one for the future.

walker happened to get to peter avenue right after me. i saw him coming from the other end of the street. "i knew you'd be here," he called out.

once we met in the middle of the street, he gave me a little peck. "hi," he said. "my lines are memorized. do you know your words?"

"hmm... i think they're... action, and, uh, cut!" i giggled.

"good job," he said. "you had me nervous for a second there."

"speaking of nervousness, how does it feel to be back in front of the camera?"

he shrugged. "it's fine. i'm not too nervous."

"it had to be madeline then!" i thought out loud. he gave me a puzzled expression. "violet said that she said that you said that you were nervous to film."

"did you seriously just say that violet said that madeline said that i said that i was nervous to film?" he played.

"she was projecting, right? what did you talk to her about, just out of curiosity."

"i don't talk unless she does-- oh! you know what it probably was? when we're taking notes and she talks to me, not getting that i'm trying to focus, i absentmindedly agree with a lot of the things she says. and i remembered that she told me she was nervous to film. so i said i was too."

i shouldn't have laughed since that was the only relief i had gotten from the looming anxious feeling in my stomach, but i still found it quite comical. "wow, okay. that gives me a little more hope that the process will be smooth this week."

the girl i was crossing my fingers that she would be the process smoother showed up then. you couldn't not notice her. maeve did not need to dress for the camera. behind it, she would be rocking her neon green winter hat and gloves like she did a handstand into liquid uranium. i really hoped she wasn't still so apprehensive about today that she would do such a dangerous thing, because it needed to go perfectly.

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thank you for reading chapter 54!