Where It Ends

| After 1 | Twelve Hours Later

Taryn's POV

I bet you're wondering how I got out of there.

As I'm driving through the dusty panhandle of Texas in the dark, I'm wondering the same damn thing, and I keep going back to it, over and over again. I'm glad Grady is the one trying to get some sleep. He has to be at work in a handful of hours, and I insisted. Because, even if I wanted to sleep, I'm not sure I could right now. I'll probably have nightmares about "Camp Merit" until I die. There's so much that could have gone wrong, and my subconscious won't be kind. . .  

I'm doing my best to avoid sleeping for as long as I can without letting him know why. He's got his own shit to deal with; he doesn't need mine, too. As unhealthy as I think it would be for him to know more, he's asked for the details out of concern for me. Of course, I minimized everything. I'm trying to be the strong one. And I am . . . I was, I should say. Trauma affects different people in different ways, and I guess mine was a bit delayed coming in. But, now that the dark is back and I'm alone with my thoughts, it's pretty horrific in a thousand small but significant ways. What I experienced was just a sampling, but still, the seeds were planted. I can feel them festering, but if they happen to grow. . .

What if I got stuck there? What if they catch up to me again? Will that evil flourish just by worrying about it? What kind of monster will I become?

Forget another day. I was not going to spend an extra minute in that hellhole. It sounds extreme, but I was going to take my chances with the firing squad no matter what. The world has enough monsters. . .

I knew Grady would get help for us. Or try to, if he got that far. I had no way of knowing what Keith's word meant. Would he really let him go?

I feared it meant nothing. I wouldn't put it past him to tell us all one thing, and then do the unthinkable.

Grady was in danger, and he'd put himself in more danger, too. If they didn't shoot him outright, they would have tried the moment he started making trouble. And bringing in the artillery was the logical next step for him.

How many law enforcement officers would it take to secure that place? Too many. It could have easily been a bloodbath. I didn't intend for it to get to that level or want it on my conscience. Many of those brave men and women had families to go home to. I didn't want to put anyone in harm's way because Quinn trusted her own mother and I underestimated her. My resentment about the stupid tuition money was just too blinding. I really thought that was the worst she could do, and I didn't intend to give her another chance to prove me wrong.  

Once Grady was escorted out, I was beside myself. I didn't have to fake that. A few minutes later, when my heartrate was about to blow my brain to smithereens, Keith had the audacity to tell me and Quinn to clear the table while his inbred kids and his doting queen got to sit around and watch. Quinn barely had any food on her plate, probably lost twenty pounds since last I saw her, and couldn't even walk right. She was pretty sure it was an ankle fracture, and watching her hobble around, I believed her.

I didn't give Keith the opportunity to "mansplain" his mistreatment. I just let myself explode. Rage was the detonator, and I would have clawed my way out of there if I thought it would get me anywhere, but I had to be smart about it.

I hated my mother in that moment too, more than I ever had, but I knew, deep down, she just wanted to be loved, appreciated, and needed again, even though she did nothing to deserve it. Ever, if I'm being honest. I grew up fast and on my own for a reason.