Seasons Changing

Always

"Ryan, what are you doing here? What's going on next door?" he asked me. I collapsed onto him. My tears started pouring like a waterfall. As if they'd never stop. 

"Everything's a mess Dad. The boys are fighting. We lost the house. And I just don't know what to do." He helped me walk into the house and placed me on the couch. "You don't have to do anything. That's their house. They aren't your responsibility." "I know but it's not easy to not be so involved with them." "Why don't you just go to bed, we'll call your mom tomorrow." "I'll go to bed but don't call Mom. She doesn't know that we're here." "We?" he asked. "Oh, Lucas... he's here too" I said as I hurried up the stairs.

••••

Back to where I was last night. Except this time I could take it all in. The sunrise over the waves. I couldn't sleep at all last night. I couldn't get our last conversation out of my head. 

"Mind if I join you?" "I-I don't think that's a good idea. But there is  something I need to tell you". He sat down. "I thought you liked Belly? No, loved Belly. You were mad at me for my brother literally days ago. Now all of a sudden Conrad had to ask you how you would feel if we were together? That doesn't make any sense. You've never expressed anything for me. Except that one night at the country club." 

"Ryan, we've kissed before". "Yeah, for dares. Or being drunk at a party. And on those dares, I was probably drunk. So we've more than likely never kissed while I was sober. Jere-" 

"You wouldn't have kissed me if you didn't want to. That's what I would tell myself. Yes, I still have feelings for Belly. I've always liked her. She's always had eyes for Luke-" "Then why did you make such a big deal about Conrad and I?" "Because I knew that if it was me with you, I would've treated you so much better".

That sentence pissed me off. So bad I just zoned out. How does he know how our relationship was? He was pissed at the world throughout the whole duration of it. Conrad was a good boyfriend. He was also depressed. How was I gonna expect him to love me, when the person he loved most in the world was leaving the world? 

"Jere, you have no idea what you're talking about. He loved me and treated me the best he could". "Yeah, until things got tough. Then where was he?" "I broke up with him Jeremiah. He didn't break up with me. I don't know why you're so caught on me." "I don't know. I think over this year I reflected on Cousins a lot. The place. The people. A lot of that thinking involved you. I think Connie knew I had a spark or whatever when it came to you-" "But you spent the summer with Belly?" "My love for her hasn't left, I guess the love for you had grown".

I didn't want to hear it anymore. He said so much but so little. Why did he feel anything for me? Why am I just now hearing about it? How would I tell him I'd never felt the same?

"Well, I'm gonna go inside and help clean" I tell Jere. Attempting to get away from whatever I just sat through. 

I arrived back to he Fisher home. I reached the door and sighed. Last night was a mess. Not as messy as the house. So with that, I walked in.

"Hey, are you guys up? We need to clean- Laurel?" I saw her has I approached the kitchen. "Mom" I hear Steven say in confusion from what I assumed was the living room. "Steven what the hell? Belly drunk dials me and I drive all night to find... this?! I'm just glad your mom isn't here to see what you guys did to her house." Wow, for someone with no context of anything, she sure had a lot to say. "I want this place spotless and for every single thing of Susannah's to be put back exactly where it belongs. If even one thing is broken or missing I swear to Go-" "Mom, we weren't the ones who moved the stuff" Steven tells Laurel. "It was Aunt Julia" Conrad chimed in, "She's the one who emptied it not us. To sell it".

"But I thought Susannah talked to her lawyers. She told me she reached out to Julia right before things got bad." "You knew?" I asked. "Why didn't you say anything? Conrad had to find out from a "for sale" sign in the front yard" Steven practically yelled. "I just assumed they resolved it before Susannah... Conrad does your dad know?" Laurel asked in attempt to get the weight of of her. "Of course he knows!  And of course he's done nothing at all to help us!" "Yeah, that's why the boys and Ryan came down first. They were trying to work something out with Aunt Julia themselves." Steven told her. "And?" "And we failed! Aunt Julia's already sold the house to another family. They finalized the deal yesterday. But like you said," Conrad said as he started to leave, "At least my mom's not here to see it". 

I started to follow him. Then I remembered last night. I remembered what my dad said. I can't help myself. I ultimately took my father's advice and just sat on the floor in the next room. 

Eventually everyone else woke up and we started cleaning. Lots and lots of cleaning. We started in the kitchen. The only thing we could hear was bottles clanking and Taylor and Steven whispering. 

"Ahem" Laurel clears her throat, "I owe you guys an apology. You guys have been there for each other, and I haven't. And I'm deeply sorry for that." "We've all made mistakes mom" Belly tells her. "Well, my biggest one is trusting that Beck and Julia had come to an agreement about the beach house before she passed. It's probably too late to change things, but I'd like to try. I'll talk to Julia, see if I can't change her mind." 

I looked at Conrad. For the first time this week, he had hope. It's like he knew the power of Laurel. That she of all people wouldn't let us down.

Jeremiah went up to hug her and gave his thanks alongside Steven.

"Before my mom gets here though, we should probably try and make this place look less... shitty". "I second that Sky" I said. As the rest of them agreed. 

••••

"Taylor, you're leaving?" "Yeah, this is just seeming like a family thing and I just feel like I should go". "Well, it was nice seeing you again" I said with a hug. Then I went to get started on my cleaning. 

I was in the kitchen with Jeremiah and Lucas when Julia came a tad bit early. The house wasn't as good as we'd wanted it to be. Laurel pulled her outside to talk. 

"What are you doing?" "Taking a break." "Luca, if you're not gonna help then go to Dad's". "Whoa Ryan, I'm helping. Just taking a break". "Yeah? Well this house is a mess. We need all hands on deck." 

"Hey, Luke!" Steven yelled, "Can you come help me with this stain?" "Saved by the bell" Jeremiah joked as Lucas went to Steven. 

As I continued cleaning I was alone with my thoughts. I'd look up every now and then at Conrad. Even stressed he looked good. I knew that no matter what, I'd always want him. Always.