Seasons Changing

Until Next Time

I felt horrible. And for what? I didn't kiss Jeremiah. Conrad approached just as I was pulling away. Why would he kiss me? Had I led him to believe that was something I wanted? 

"Conrad" Jere says. I don't know what he was going to say. Apologize? Was he sorry? Or sorry to have been caught. 

"Please don't stop, I'm clearly the one who is interrupting you." Conrad said as he turned to leave. 

I stood there in shock. I was angry. I was sad. I was scared. 

"Will you go after him? Please" Jere had asked me. I agreed. Not because he had asked me, but because I wanted to.

"Conrad..." I started gaining on him, "Come on. Conrad!" I yelled from behind him. "Leave it, Ryan, I don't want to talk to you right now". "Come on. Please don't shut me out again, okay? We've done that to each other too many times this year, and all it's done is make things worse". 

He stopped moving and studied me. "Okay, if you want to talk, let's talk." He approached me. I hesitated. The way he looked at me, it was like it wasn't even him. He only had his brother. Was I supposed to throw him under the bus?

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Con. It was so messed up-" "Okay, got it. So you want to be with Jeremiah now?" he interrupted me. "Conrad..." "Or are you just doing this to get my attention?" 

I know he's hurt. But the things he says when he's mad really start to make me question everything. Had he thought so low of me that he thought I'd do that? 

"Are you serious? You really think I would do that just to try and get you back? The answer is no-" "Then go, go. Go be with Jere, he's the one that wants you. I don't. Not anymore." He walked away. For the last time? 

He didn't mean that right? When I set Jeremiah straight would I lose him too? 

I walked back to the car where Jere was standing. "Is he coming?" he asked me. I looked up and started crying. "He can't go anywhere without his car and they have to be moved out of the dorms tonight. He'll be back eventually". 

I was mad at Jeremiah. But my anger for him wasn't going to bring Conrad back. "Okay" I responded, "Let's just wait then". He agreed and popped the trunk where we sat and waited. 

A silent, awkward hour later, Conrad appeared with one bag and a box. Obviously not taking everything. "Excuse me" he told us so he could place his things down. "We thought you weren't coming" Jere confessed. "I told Christine I'd get her home" Conrad told us. 

"Wait, I thought you were bringing me back to my Dad's?" "Yeah, well on my way to the final, you mom called me and said that Lucas took your car back home and we were to bring you home." he told me. "Well you can drive" Jere says handing Conrad the keys. "No I don't trust myself to drive right now" Conrad tells us. Guilt filled me. "I didn't get much sleep last night" Con said as he pat Jere's chest and got into the car. 

••••

The car ride was awkward. I didn't want to be in it with them. I had decided to read when Conrad had sat up. Claiming I'd throw up if I kept reading it. 

"She's okay" Jere defended. "Well, I don't know if you knew this but um, Ryan gets motion sickness when she reads in cars. Did you know that?" "I did, actually" an annoyed Jeremiah answered. "Oh, okay". "Ryan took Dramamine earlier so that she could quiz you for your test." 

Conrad then took note of a bag that was in the back with him. "So you guys went to Finch huh? That sounds like a nice little romantic excursion." "I just took her out to check out the school." "Why would you need to do that when she's going to Columbia? But yeah, Finch is fun I guess" he took a long pause before starting up again, "So tell me, how long has this thing been going on? All week?" "No" Jeremiah answered.