Lord of the Night

Chapter 83: Somewhere Safe

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This might just be the most ridiculous thing you have ever asked me to do. And let me tell you, there have been some fierce competitors."

"I don't think what I'm asking you to do is any more ridiculous than what we are asking the whole team to do in a few days. We are planning to attack the Palace in their own territory, where they know every corner and most of us know none of it. And each time a Demon steals a Guardian's lifeforce, they don't just eliminate a threat—they gain power."

"I know, but..." He scrubbed both hands over his face. "We don't even know if it's possible for you to stop me, and even if it is possible, what if you can't figure out how to do it fast enough?"

"As far as I see it, I can either take my chances with you right now or hope the Palace will have mercy on us. I choose you."

He squeezed his eyes shut and blew out a long exhale. "I can't believe I'm even considering this. If you end up dying, I'm seriously going to—" I'm going to kill you, I thought he was about to say, but he breathed a grim laugh instead. "Just don't die, please?"

"I'll try not to," I promised.

Clenching his jaw, he lifted his palms. Strangely, I was reminded of the way he slapped a second cuff over his own wrist to give me a proper kiss on the top floor of the Palace. Right now he was uncuffed, and I was the one risking my life, yet there was something about him that was painfully vulnerable. He was far more terrified of trying this than I was.

"Thank you," I said. "For believing me, and for being willing to try this."

"If you don't take my hands fast, I might change my mind."

With a laugh, I grabbed his hands.

It started as it always did, an innocuous trickle of lifeforce like a leak from a pipe. Even though this experiment had been my idea, when the pull grew stronger, my heart rate ratcheted. The lifeforce was now slipping through my fingers quickly, unnervingly quickly, and while I had grown confident in Isalio's ability to stop himself from taking too much, I wasn't sure how to stop him myself—or what would happen if I couldn't.

The stream flowed faster and faster.

I tried to claw my way toward the shore, but the stones slipped away beneath my grasp, and the shore grew distant. The widening river drowned out all other thoughts and feelings. Weightless joy washed over me, promising to take me into the sky. If I would just let go... if I would just stop fighting...

A stone sliced up through the water and jabbed my side. I lurched sideways, hoping to rediscover that blissful flow. Instead, I discovered more stones and more pain.

I had failed to reject the stream, but the stream itself was now rejecting me.

The pain allowed me to refocus. Battling the stream seemed to be impossible, but could I defeat the stream without battling it? When I had stopped Isalio from giving his lifeforce to me, I hadn't clawed to the shore; I had frozen, and the stream had disappeared. Why had it disappeared?

My father's words came back to me: 'because I'm not where you are right now.'

Maybe it wasn't about leaving the stream—maybe it was about finding somewhere else to be. So, instead of clawing toward the shore, I searched for a memory of stillness.

The second I stopped fighting back, the rush of lifeforce tugged my feet out from under me, and my stomach lurched as if I were freefalling from a cliff. I tensed instinctively, muscles flaring with the need to fight back—but then I forced myself to ignore the river once more.

I don't need to find the shore, because I'm not even in this river, I told myself. I'm somewhere else... somewhere safe.

I tucked into a pile of soft blankets. Crickets chirped outside, and the chilly night air stung my cheeks while the warmth of my bed cocooned me. My mother's voice carried from the next room as she read to Hefgar, and I could still feel the wet spot from her kiss on my forehead. Now my father sat at my side, singing softly and playing with my fingers. His hands were so calloused and strong, yet so gentle.