We never got over it

For the first time again-Barrons POV

I been stuck in the same spot for over an hour. I'm pretty sure I look stupid but I don't care.

I just saw her again and everything has changed. Everything is being brought back and now I can't stop thinking bout her.

I can't stop thinking about what I did and how things ended with us.

I can't stop thinking about Damien.

What he was going through.

How I didn't stop it. We are adults now but the hatred she has for me is still there.

I can see it in the way she looked at me. Beautiful green eyes, shocked then cold.

She looked at me like I was nothing to her and she couldn't care less if I was a piece of shit on the ground.

Well fuck that's what  I feel like. And she works for the company I have to defend? Fuck.

I don't know if I should request online meetings or just deal with the fact that I might see her again.

If im completely honest I wouldn't mind all that much.

She still gives me that same feeling and I just can't leave her alone.

I know this is selfish of me but I want her. Seeing her again I lit sparked something in me that was only hidden till now.

But I don't know how to make things right. I don't know if I need to make things right.

I'm going back to the office tomorrow and I hope that means I get to see her.

Fucking hell I need a distraction.

It's like God has answered my prayers because Leo, one of my colleagues who became more of a friend, called and asked if I wanted to head to the bar.

I don't usually like going out with people but I  needed a drink and a change of scenery.

If I go back to my place I'm ganna start thinking about her and then I'm ganna lose my shit.

So I rather drown my shit in alcohol.

I told him I'll be there around 9 and hang up the phone.

I still don't wanna go back to my place yet, so I go to the shooting range.

It helps ease my mind and let of some steam. And shit I have a lot of it built up right now.

I spent about two hours there before I head home to get ready.