Loss. Lost.
Who here knows the bitter, bitter taste of loss,
that leaves you too full of emptiness?
Who here has heard the guttural sounds of grief no words can capture?
Who here knows that the colors of loss are soaked and saturated in the wet, salty shadows?
I have known loss that stole my appetite,
I have known loss that kept me awake until the night became the morning still clothed in black.
I have known loss that kept my eyes red,
kept my cheeks salty, wet.
I have known loss that almost drove me to madness
and death.
I have known loss that left me lost.
Lost in places that had no color or sound or fragrance or taste or feeling.
Places where I moved as though through sand dipped in mud coated in lead.
Places where I longed for physical pain,
just to remember that through the numb, mindless fog I could still feel something.
Yes.
Yes, I have known loss,
yes, I have been lost.
I was so lost,
I drew trails of red across my skin,
felt relieved at every sting,
but I fought and crawled my way back from the edge.
