Just us - Matthew Sturniolo

Decisions

I wake up from my nap to multiple texts from Johnnie and Jake . Pestering me about going to the party tomorrow night . I check the time , it's 7 pm, I slept for 5 hours bruh.

I get out of bed and go use the bathroom, by the time I get back and sit at my desk, the thoughts come back and invade my mind. Should I go , what would I even do, what would I even say. I'm gonna look stupid.

I go live on tiktok for a bit and do a Grwm, literally just doing my makeup, listening to music and talking to my followers . It's now 10 pm and I decide to get off live. As I lay back in bed I get more messages asking me about the party, and at this point I'm genuinely annoyed. Johnnie is throwing this party just for me to be embarrassed and make a fool out of myself, I already told him I wasn't going to go.

A couple hours pass by and I fall asleep for the night.

I wake up and check the time , 9 am. I don't have school today because it's a Saturday. I make my way to the bathroom. I take my makeup off, brush my teeth, use the bathroom and take a shower. The usual morning stuff. By the time I get out the shower my phone is overheated with the amount of messages from Jake and Johnnie from last night and this morning, but I haven't responded to any of them.

I'm sitting at my desk organizing it from last night and I just start thinking. I mean , let's say I did go, what would be the worst that would happen. That he would ignore me ? I mean , I guess him unfollowing me wasn't even a big deal. It's not a big deal. I could go, look hot, and have fun. Who cares if he doesn't even look my way.
Why would I even want him to.
But I do want him too....

We've only talked 2 times, I need to get it the fuck together. Why am I acting like this, why can I not get him out of my mind.

Fuck it, why not.

I make my way to my closet and open the doors wide open. I walk in and scan the area. Then a dress catches my eye , its Perfect, I take it out and lay it on the bed. I then look at my shoes and pick the perfect ones to go with it , I pull them out and set them aside.

It's wayyyy to early in the day to start getting ready so I go about my day until a couple hours before the party . I spend my time reading, writing, and studying, just anything to distract me and keep him out of my mind. I haven't even replied to Jake and Johnnie all day, they probably think I'm mad at them.

I keep checking the time , every hour. Until I see it .

- 8pm -

Let's do this.