Just us - Matthew Sturniolo

Not fair

I make my way over to the huge living room full of people and scan the area, I spot sam and Colby sitting at a area near the sliding doors to the backyard,

/ that's where I first met him / ,,, I shake the thought from my mind and struggle my way through the crowd. Sam catching a glimpse of me , "y/nnnnnnn!" He said as I walk up to him, Colby, and a couple of other people I didn't recognize, he seemed veeeerry drunk. And now I was starting to feel it too. I'm guessing since I never drank a drop of liquor in my life, that it was hitting me pretty hard pretty fast.

I take a seat in between Colby and Sam as they had scooched over to make room for me. I glance over to where Matt was standing with his brothers and friends and he was still looking at me, intensely .

I looked away trying to ignore his gaze. "Hey we were thinking about doing a series of taking a couple more of our friends to the conjuring house , I know your already a believer but would you be down ??" Colby asks, "when would it be ?" I responded, still feeling his eyes lingering on me , "well we were thinking sometime at the end of this month" Sam adds, "we kind of want you to be the first person we take haha" Colby admits, "aww I feel flattered" I say in a playfully and friendly manner, "let me check my scheduleeeeee" I go on and pretend to check my calendar on my phone. "I think I'm free actually" I giggle and the boys seems pleased, I see a bottle of Hennessy in the middle of the coffee table infront of the couch aside some plastic shot cups. I take the bottle and grab a cup pouring myself a shot, the boys give each other a look and then look at me , I notice and give back a innocent look, "what??" "You drink now ?" Colby says , "for tonight, yes !" I say happy as I get ready to take my shot, "well let's take some shots then! , I'm not gonna let you drink alone haha" Colby responds as he pours everyone around us some shots, we all cheers and down them. I get introduced to the people around me and colby goes on to talk to them for a while, I just sit back and listen, only participating in conversation when I'm asked something or the conversation turns to me.

I feel Sam get close and whisper in my ear, "is everything okay" he says ever so softly, but I'm still able to hear it .  "Yes , why ?" I say as I turn to him, he looks at me worriedly , "you know if your feeling pressured to drink I would make up an excuse and we could leave" he said eyeing my expression carefully. "I actually just wanted to drink tonight" I answer, "it's just not like you , is something wrong" Sam continued, "thank you Sam, i really appreciate you making me feel comfortable and safe" I say as I place my hand on his leg , not in a flirtatious way, but more making a secure gesture, we were so lost in our own conversation, when I looked up I saw more people coming to join us , 3 of the people joining us being the triplets, mat watches me as I slowly take my hand of Sam's leg , he looks at me a few seconds longer making eye contact, then looks away nonchalantly. 

They all greet one another and they come to me , "hi nice to meet you I'm Nick !" He says joyfully, "hey I'm chris" the other one adds,I shake their hands, "nice to meet you guys, I'm y/n" I respond. Matt doesn't come up to me and there's an awkward silence for a couple seconds, every one catches on. "Oh we've already met" Matt states. I avoid looking in his general direction, Sam and Colby notice and pass each other a look, the group Carry's on in conversation and the rest of the night me and Matt make subtle glances at each other, often catching each others glances and looking away, many shots later , I decide to get some fresh air as I might puke being around so many people with my anxiety. "I'm gonna excuse myself for a moment" I say as I get up and walk towards the door into the backyard.

*Sam's pov*

A couple minutes pass by and she doesn't come back in " I'm gonna go check on her" I say to Colby, "I can go do it" Matt offers, "are you sure ?" "Well yea , you guys are all drinking having a good time and I don't drink so" he explains. I look back at Colby "okay then" I answer looking back over to Matt.

*Your pov*

I'm sitting on the tree swing bench as I hear the back door open and close . A couple moments pass before Matt peers around the corner . I don't even move my head to look at him. He makes his way over and Sits down next to me. I
Continue looking forward, lost in thought. "Hey" he says softly, "hey" I say in a whisper, not moving to face him. We sit in silence for a few seconds. "Is there something wrong with me" I ask him, he knows I'm obviously drunk. "Why do you say that?" He responded, "you don't like me" I continue "your the first guy Im interested in for a long time and you hate me, there's obviously something wrong with me"

"who said I didn't like you" he questioned. I turn to look up at him, he makes eye contact with my glossy puppy eyes and opens his mouth to speak , but his voice delayed . "It's not that I don't like you" he says, "its just that I'm scared if I ever get close to someone, our fans will come at you a certain way" he adds, i just listen , "you don't deserve that" he finishes. The wind blows a hair into my face , Matt tucks it behind my ear. "And why do you get to decide that" I say, "because it's not fair to you" he says trying to convince me. "Well that's not fair to me either" I clash back. He looks at me longingly, I turn my gave back to how I was before he came .

I was so angry with myself, and slightly at him. I was being led on and played with, one minute he cares about how I feel and the next he doesn't even talk to me. "Just go" I speak loud enough for him to hear, "you want me to go" he questions softly. I turn and lock eyes with him , "I want you to stay" I answer.

" Then I'll stay "