Cruel by nature

Chapter 6

Chaos. My mind is a chaos, a goddamn hurricane that's being overthrown by a tsunami, tearing at my thoughts whilst drowning them at the same time. The only thing that manages to stay afloat is the fear and confusion.

How is this possible? No one knows. Especially not me.

I'm in the kitchen, grasping a cup full of tea, holding on for dear life. Mila gave it to me awhile ago, but I have yet to take a sip. It has gone cold by now, but it doesn't matter. I refuse to let go, for all I can do to not think about what recently occurred in the living room is to focus on the cup in my hand. If I let go, it will shatter, just like my mind.

Mila's sitting on a chair beside me, carefully studying my every movement. We were allowed some privacy, but I know that the men is waiting right outside the front door.

"It's going to be okay", she reassures me for the hundredth time, her hand searching for mine. She gently pries my hands off the cup, and this time, I let her. But as soon as my hands lose their grip on it, it's like a wall inside of me breaks, letting out all those thoughts and tears that were captured within.

"It's not", I say, my voice shaking. "It's not going to be okay, Mila."

I stifle a cry, and keep going, the words leaving my mouth like a waterfall without an end.

"I know what it means. I know what being someone's mate means. You told me, remember? I've even read about it. It's such a big part of your... culture or whatever that it's hard to miss. But you told me you could only be mated to your own kind, so how is this happening?"

"I don't know." Mila answers truthfully as she places the cup on the table in front of us.

I stare outside the window. The sun is still high in the sky, but there are dark clouds lingering in the distance. It's probably going to rain soon.

"I didn't feel it, you know", I say, not taking my eyes off the outside. "The spark. When he touched me, I felt nothing. No spark, no heat, no nothing."

She frowns, but quickly dismisses what I just said. "Maybe it's different because you're human."

"Or maybe it's different because it's all a misunderstanding", I sigh, knowing very well how naive I sound.

"Maybe", Mila hesitates, "but I doubt it. The look in his eyes was quite convincing."

I close my eyes and draw in a sharp breath of air as I try to control the raging storm inside of me.

"Am I going to die?"

Mila quickly shakes her head and reaches for my hand, gripping it tightly. "No. You're going to be fine."

A sad smile plays at my lips as I meet her narrow gaze. "Am I really? Can you really promise that no harm will come to me? That I will be fine no matter what happens next?"

She doesn't answer, and her lack of reassurance tells me all I need to know.

"Were you really going to do it?" I ask instead, diverting the conversation elsewhere. As she looks at me with an unreadable expression, I elaborate.

"Were you really going to turn me in as soon as he got back?"

Pain flashes through her eyes and there's a short silence before she speaks.

"Yes."

I feel my heart drop down my stomach, but then she silently shakes her head and points to the door leading outside.

"Yes, I was." Again, she shakes her head no, and I quickly puzzle the easy pieces together. They can hear us. Of course they can. All werewolves' senses are heightened, and Mila doesn't want to expose herself as a sympathizer. If there's any chance of her getting away without being punished, it would surely be ruined if they knew she lied straight to their alpha's face.