After Goodbye

Teaser: Ready

Presenting the sequel to Goodbye...

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Regardless of the choices and
decisions you may make,
at the end of the day
the final say
is up to fate.

🤍

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"And that afternoon in London was the last time I saw her.." I sighed. The room was still as I finished reminiscing on my first tour experience and chaotic 'unofficial' relationship. I nervously scratched at the pads of my fingertips, averting my eyes from the ceiling in order to catch a glimpse of my therapist, Joy's expression. I watched as she chewed on the tip of her pen, brows furrowed as she skimmed her notes. "Well?" I questioned, growing antsy from her lack of response or reaction. "Well.." she sighed, finally relaxing from her previously tensed position. She withdrew her pen from her lips and removed her glasses, blinking a few times as she sat back. "That... was... a lot."

I couldn't help the scoff that escaped my lips. "Yeah, who you telling..." I mumbled turning my gaze back to the white popcorn ceiling above me. The sound of scribbling filled the quiet room as Joy mumbled to herself. I began to fiddle with the rings on my hands, trying to occupy my time and suppress my desire to overthink, a healthier coping mechanism that Joy and I had discussed to redirect my anxiousness while simultaneously preventing me snowballing into a full fledged panic attack.

We'd been working on rebuilding my mental health for the past year and a half. At first, I only shared stories in pieces but this past month I finally began to share the full tale from start to finish. "Well, it all makes sense now that's for sure." She said and I couldn't help but let out a dry laugh. "Yeah. I was a bit all over the place when we first started, huh?" "Just a little." she teased with a chuckle. "But that's pretty normal for first timers. Now, however, I can say with full confidence that you've grown quite a lot and the work you've been doing internally is really paying off. You can tell just by your demeanor." "I can definitely feel the change." I said with a nod. "From how I approach and handle things to
how I digest information. I feel so much calmer and more trusting of myself and in myself, you know?" "That my dear is what happens when you start making decisions that are best for you despite anyone else and when you confront your anxiety instead of ignoring it."

I smiled to myself, a small sense of pride momentarily engrossing me as I twisted at my gold ring on my finger.  "So..." I began to say, turning my head towards Joy again "what now?" Joy hesitated, an action I was not used to seeing from the self-assured woman. "What?" "Well... you're not going to like what I'm going to say" she warned, meeting my gaze. I laughed. "I don't like half the things you say, Joy" I sarcastically brushed off with a playful smile. Joy shook her head in amused agreement as I mentally prepared for her next words. But even with the clasp of my hands and hold of my breath, I wasn't prepared for what she said next.
"Go ahead" I encouraged.
"I think it's time."
"Time... for what exactly?"

She paused steadily observing me. Her gaze causing me to stir a bit in discomfort. Her mind seemed to be working overtime on the best way to say her next line and I guess that should've been warning enough but somehow I was still caught by surprise when she finally said "I think it's time for you to sit down and have a real conversation with Victoria."

My fidgeting came to an immediate halt and the room deafeningly silent. "It's been a couple of years and you're in a better mental space" she continued "so I think it would be a good move to finally talk about everything and I mean EVERYTHING, and lay it all to rest." Though I heard her words, nothing seemed to process, as if my brain stalled at the idea.

My mind was completely blank at the thought of seeing her again. I wasn't as sure as Joy was about how 'ready' I was for something like that. Though she was right, it had been a couple of years. Plus the industry was small and the more I worked and the more successful I became, the higher the likeliness of running into her. Just like at the awards show. Honestly, it was amazing I hadn't run into her since. A part of me wondered if it was because she had been avoiding me or because I'd been avoiding her.

"You can't avoid her forever." Joy said as if reading my mind. "I'm not avoiding her" I weakly defended. "I'm just.." I shrugged searching for the words as Joy awaited my response. "Busy" I finally sighed out. "Uh-huh..." Joy acknowledged, unconvinced by my lack luster, Oscar-worthy performance. "Seriously! I'm, you know, always on the go and I'm sure she's just as busy." Joy's eyes flickered down to her pad, her pen tapping lightly as she digested my poorly worded excuse. "Are you on the go... or are you on the run?"

My eyes immediately met Joy's as I frowned. Turning my attention back to the ceiling, I took in a deep breath, allowing my eyes to flutter close as I counted, attempting to calm my frantically beating heart. I hated that she was right. I hated that she saw right through me, though that is what I paid her for. I guess this was the final test that I needed to really decided if I was healing and truly moving pass this whole ordeal and right now I was losing points. I slowly released my breath and allowed my eyes to flutter open again.

"I'll think about it."

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A/N
Welcome back!
Ready for part 2 of the journey?

☺️

FIRST GOAL: 50 🌟

It's almost time, my beauts & fruits, so let's start off with a 💥!!!

🤎