• BURN ME •

• 49

Running Up That Hill
~Loveless

Snow

"Flame, please... you have to stay here, you can't leave me alone. You promised me... you promised me." Comes hoarsely and shaky from my lips, my own pain long forgotten. What he did is forgotten, the only thing that matters. Is him, only him. "Snow..." comes from behind me, it's Nacho's voice, but it's muffled by something. "Snow..." he repeats his words, I sob. "There is so much blood, so... so much blood." Comes nearly inaudibly over my lips, "it's okay, Snow, we're taking him to the hospital. Okay? Everything will be fine, but you have to let takes your hands off him for a moment." I shake my head wildly, no, I can't let go. My breathing is too fast, and I feel my tears continue to run down my cheeks, my lungs burn like crazy. At this moment, it's just him and me. I just concentrate on him, my hands press harder on his wounds and try to stop the bleeding. I can feel the warmth of his blood sticking to my fingers. I feel hands on my shoulders, "hey Snow. You have to let go of him for a moment, otherwise we won't get him into the car." Tero whispers before pulls me away from Flame. My heart stops as I stare at my hands. Nacho and Draven somehow manage to carry Flame to the car. Everything passes me by in a cold, red-colored fog full of worry and pain. As if I'm out of my own body, I see Tero pulling me out of the building. My breath catches when I see Flame's tall figure, looking all bloody and weak, he looks like a damn corpse, unconscious and white as a damn wall. I've never seen him like this before, so damn vulnerable, it's horrific. Nacho and Draven managed to get him into the back of an SUV. I don't know who the SUV belongs to, or where he comes from, but I also don't care. I let my gaze glide to Nacho, and now I can see why his voice was muffled, he wears one of his bandanas as a mask. He rips off his mask and coughs while breathing heavily.

Without words, I climb into the back seat, to where Flame lies. I put his head on my lap and press my hands back onto his wound. Is he still breathing? The damn car ride is taking way too long, everything is taking a damn long time. I can feel his heartbeat getting slower by the minute. "Drive faster, Nacho, he's... he's fucking dying!" I scream, I don't recognize my own voice, it's way too high, there's way too much panic in it. He can't leave me, he can't fucking leave me. Please, God, don't take him away from me. I need him, I fucking need him. I pray, something I haven't done in ages. My breathing is way too fast, I'm on the verge of having a panic attack. I can feel it, the panic, the beast, scratching under my skin. I would give anything to save him, to save the man I love. Yes, I fucking love him, even when he does stupid, hurtful things, I love him. My body shakes with fear of losing him. His blood is on my hands like fucking sticky red gloves. Gloves that I can't take off even if I wanted to. Shit, oh my God. There's so much fucking blood pouring out of his limp body. So much blood. So much red. My vision blurs as my tears flow down my face like waterfalls. The sting and burning of the cuts on my face as my tears hit them is nothing compared to the pain I feel at the sight of Flame. My heart feels like it's being ripped out of my chest over and over again. Until I can't feel anything but pain, fucking pain. I swallow dry, wanting to scream at Nacho again. But my words get stuck in my throat as Flame gasps and wheezes in pain. It sounds like he can't breathe, like he's choking on his own blood. I want to hit him so hard and so often until he opens his stupid eyes again and looks at me with those damn heterochromia eyes, eyes that I've learned to love so desperately. Eyes that often watch me with so much affection that sometimes it hurts. Sometimes his gaze is so intense that I have to look away to keep from falling to my knees and telling him how I feel about him. This man managed to get into my shattered heart and claim it like it was his own.

My bloody hands are shaking, I'm still pressing them on his wound, I'm still trying to stop the bleeding, to not feel unuseful, my throat is dry and sore. I want to scream and cry and then scream some more. When we get to the hospital emergency entrance, Nacho stops the car. After that, everything happens so damn fast. A whole group of nurses gets Flame out of the car and onto a hospital bed. I watch in horror as Flame is taken into the hospital. My feet are stuck to the ground beneath me, I can't move. I can't fucking move. Why can't my legs fucking work? With a scream, I sink to my knees, unable to make my injured body function. Everything around me is a fucking haze, I can't concentrate. My heart hurts, oh God. Please protect him, I'll do anything. I stare at my blood-soaked hands, I want to curl up into a fucking ball. Shit. Shit. Shit. The pain explodes in my chest. "Snow...calm down," Nacho says next to me, I should calm down? I can't, not when it feels like I've lost the ground beneath me. I'm hyperventilating, my lungs burning as I look up at Nacho. He looks horrified too, it's all written all over his face. Fear. Nacho helps me get up from the ground. "We can't lose our heads, you know, Snow. He fucking needs us, look at me." He pushes my chin up with his fingers. "We're all scared, but we have to pull ourselves together. Okay? You can cry, scream, and collapse when he wakes up again. Okay?" Nacho's lips are shaking, just like his voice. I nod, or at least try to. When Nacho wraps his strong arms around me, I don't know if he's hugging me. To comfort me, or if he's doing it because he needs something to steady himself. But no matter why, I hug him anyway, I cling to him like he's my anchor.