A Court so Cruel and Lovely

Chapter Nine

My healing process was slow at times but I lived for every moment. I stopped hanging out with Balekin and his Grackles. I socialized with the other princes and the other princesses. Mostly I socialized with Dain since his Circle of Falcons aligned with some of my ideals. I was quickly introduced into his Circle. Dain made me one of his spies in his Court of Shadows. I'd met with his other three spies - The Bomb, the Roach, and the Ghost.

The Bomb was a tiny, delicate female. Her skin was the dappled brown of a doe, her hair a cloud of white around her head like a dandelion, and there's a miniature pair of blue-gray butterfly wings on her back.

The Roach was a male goblin. He had scarred, green skin, the color of ponds. His nose was long and twisted fully around, before bending back toward his face like a scythe. His hair was a black tuft at the very crown of his head. His eyes were unreadable. He had a melodious voice, completely at odds with his face. He had sharp claws and a black tongue.

The Ghost was half-Fae and half-human. He had sandy-colored hair, which was normal for a mortal but unusual for a faerie, and ears that come to very subtle points, showing his human heritage. He had hazel eyes and was lean and handsome.

They were all pretty nice but all I could think about is the letter Tamlin had recently sent, telling me that Azriel had been promoted to a spymaster after Rhys' takeover of the Night Court. Cassian had been elevated to General of the Night Court's armies, Mor was promoted to Rhys' Second, and another Fae female named Amren had been instated as his Third. Rhys had named their group the Inner Circle.

I could've been a part of that, I thought, sadly. If only things hadn't gotten so complicated and messy. One day, I will go home. I shook off my sad thoughts.

"It's a pleasure to meet you guys. I'm Selene, Princess of the Night Court. And Elfhame, too, I suppose," I introduced myself.

"What's the Night Court like? I've heard conflicting things," the Bomb cocked her head. "Considering you're from there you would know it best."

"Depends on what part of the Night Court you live in. There's the Illyrian Mountains, Hewn City, and there's Vel-," I stopped myself, realizing I nearly spilled the Night Court's biggest secret - Velaris.

They looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

"There's, uh, the Illyrian Steppes and open land," I said.

"Liar," the Roach hissed. "You're holding something back."

"I can't tell you about what I almost said. It's essential to the protection of the citizens of the Night Court," I scowled. "I might not live there anymore but it's my priority to keep our citizens safe. So no, I do not think I will tell you the truth. My court and its safety comes first. Always."

The Bomb, the Ghost, and the Roach looked between each other then back at me.

"You're in," the Bomb nodded.

I loosed a relieved breath and grinned.

***

Working for the Court of Shadows kept my mind from wandering too far into the past. I knew I'd have to cut back on the dresses but thankfully I had clothes fit for an assassin - especially an assassin and spy that doubled as a princess. Most of my Night Court clothes were black or gold so I stuck with black during my spy missions.

Tonight was no different. It's been three years since I joined the Court of Shadows. They affectionately nicknamed me the Shadow because of my magic that I had inherited from my father that allowed me to manipulate and summon darkness.

Dain's mission for me was to keep an eye out for any treasonous behavior coming from Balekin. He knew Balekin was brewing something, especially considering Eldred was expressing a desire to pass on the crown.

The High King was getting tired of ruling and if he did step down, the crown would go to whoever he decided to give it to. He favored the three eldest - Dain, Balekin, and Elowyn. He favored Dain the most out of those three, though.

Sort of like how your father favored Rhys over you, a cruel voice whispered in my head. You were always second-best.

I shoved the voice out of my head. Shut it.
A laugh echoed in my mind as if the voice knew something I didn't. An absurd thought occurred to me at that moment. What if Eldred chose me as his successor? I certainly had the experience to back me up. But that was a foolish thought, the ideology of a girl who wanted power.

You are a girl who wants power, the voice said again.

I ignored it, looking through Balekin's correspondence. I heard the sound of footsteps nearing and quickly put his stuff back. There was nowhere to hide in his office. It was mostly bookshelves, a small desk, a fireplace, and a reading chair in the corner.

I darted to a shadowy corner instead and used my own power to render me invisible.

Stupid, stupid, stupid... I really shouldn't have taken this damned job but since I lived with Balekin, I was best for the job.

Whether out of a sheer stroke of luck or terrible timing, it was just a couple Fae coming from the revel downstairs to couple up. I let out a quiet sigh of relief. Balekin would be pissed to find me digging through his shit. The punishment would've been severe. He likely would've beat me until I couldn't walk.

I've had to be clever about it. I masked my own scent with his to hide that I was looking through his things. I placed them back in the exact same spot as they were before I moved them around. It helps that I took dance lessons as a kid - it helped me be more stealthy, quieter on my feet.

I snuck out through the door and slipped back into my room. Luckily for me, I had excellent memory and could replicate the letters solely from memory. I rewrote every bit of his correspondence and let it dry. I quickly hid them in my drawer next to a different stack of letters.

Azriel's letters. About a year or two after I got here, Azriel started sending me letters. I hadn't responded to any of them - I was supposed to be dead after all - but damn was I tempted. I desperately wanted to - just to see how he'd react.

Would he tell Rhys? Would it be giving them false hope? What if I sent a letter and he didn't send one back?

If I sent a letter, I was fairly certain he'd have an aneurysm. I don't think he even intended for the letters to actually come to me. Maybe he was doing it for closure. I didn't know. I just knew one had appeared on my desk one day and then more started coming. I haven't had any come lately.

I felt a tug - like someone had pulled a string tied to a rib - and flinched. What the...? Ignoring it, I readied myself for sleep. I'd grown used to living in Elfhame, dangerous as it was. But then again, I've walked with death for so long. It was a friend, an ally.

Those thoughts chased me into sleep.