november.
bey.
Riding next to Kelly in silence felt too tense. After telling her all that'd went on between Oni and I, she went quiet on me. I didn't know how she felt, but I was making a pretty good assumption.
"What the fuck happened that fast?" She blurted suddenly, almost out of breath. She was practically running on that bike, her knees almost to her damn chin.
I knew she wouldn't like this, I just knew it.
"I tried not to let it happen, but it's not up to me. You know when she has her mind made up, there's nothing we can do."
"What happened?"
"You can ask her when she gets here."
"Well I don't know if she's going to be here because you went and did something to her. It was probably that damn dress. You tried to outdress her and look what happened."
"It wasn't the dress. It wasn't me. I didn't do anything Kels."
"It takes two to tango. If and when she gets here-"
Before she could finish her sentence, the door slammed and everyone looked that way, Oni standing right in the doorway.
She looked lively today, her bare face as beautiful as the day I met her. She was almost naked, her shorts riding up already and she hadn't even hopped on a bike yet. Her entire outfit; her bra, her shorts, her body chain. They were all a shade of brown that mirrored her skin color.
She looked lovely, and I wanted to go over and tell her so.
Instead she came over to us, taking her usual spot between us. I could feel the coldness she was feeling toward me and the warmth she felt for Kelly. I only sat, watching the two of them speak, my eyes unable to help themselves from heading South. She was swallowing those shorts and I was growing hot just looking at her.
I'd never felt this way looking at a woman. I'd never felt this tingling sensation, or the urge to fall down to my knees. I'd never wanted to touch a woman or an ass the way I did right now. I just wanted to feel her body between my hands, wanted to know what she felt like.
My thoughts were perverse and I had never felt this way before. Especially toward another woman.
But she wouldn't speak to me. She wouldn't even look my way. I felt like I had been shunned.
So when I heard that she was going to the bathroom, I would be right behind her. When she hopped off the bike, so did I, tossing my towel down over my bike handles.
"Go. Hurry up," Kelly whisper shouted behind me, "Y'all better be back before class starts."
I wasn't promising a single thing. I wouldn't leave Oni alone until she spoke to me, and she could be stubborn.
She was rushing, moving her legs so damn fast. I'd never seen her move so quickly, and if I wasn't so steadfast in trying to catch up to her, my eyes would be South. Her ass was almost moving faster than her.
She almost let the door shut on me. I palmed it, pushing it back open before following her down the long hallway. She wouldn't even turn around to look my way, but that was alright because she did have to enter the bathroom at some point.
And when she did, trying to shut me out all over again, I still followed. I looked high and low to make sure there was only her and I. Then I locked the door behind myself and waited for her to exit.
After what seemed to be much too long, she came out of the stall, ignoring me and going to wash her hands. She lathered like nobody's business and dried her hands for the longest. She was pulling out all the stops just to ignore me.
"You can't ignore me forever."
"I can."
I leaned against the sink, "Kelly asked me what happened."
"And what'd you tell her?"
"I did what you do. I evaded the question and didn't tell her a thing.."
"Okay."
"I don't like this Oni. You are shutting me out, even financially. You've seen my recent purchases and you say nothing."
"So you did that stupid shit purposely?"
"I needed it."
She blew up, "You needed a fucking Kadupul? Where did you even find that shit? You can't even buy it!"
"Don't yell at me."
"You could've bought anything Beyoncé."
"You said one plant, just to see."
"It won't last."
"You have no faith in me."
"You didn't even research the flower. You just looked to see what was the most expensive. I know that's what you did."
"I bought it for good luck, in hopes that we could speak and you'll no longer be mad at me."
"I wasn't mad at you until you went and bought that shit."
"So now you are mad at me?"
"Beyoncé-"
"I don't want you to be angry with me. I want us to be able to go back to being friends."
"You are lying to yourself if you think this is friendly, and I know you don't think that. Tell me it's just me. Lie to my face."
Silence fell around us. She turned her body to me completely, creating the eye contact that I'd been wanting for too long. But it didn't feel good, and I wanted to leave now.
"You mute now? Speak Beyoncé. You speak about anything else."
"I don't know what you want me to say."
"I want you to lie. I dare you to lie."
"I'm not... I don't like women."
"Right. You only have eyes for your husband."
I narrowed my eyes, "Are you jealous of my husband?"
"You jealous of my date?"
And here we were again, at a standstill. No I was not jealous of her date, I was just wondering.
"You may not like women, but you like me. I want to be the first to say that to you so that you're able to go home, sit with your husband, and process it on your own. You like to come around and be gawked at and flirted with and given presents. You like me, and even if I gave you nothing, you would like me."
I kept quiet, tucking my tail.
I shouldn't have followed her in here. I should have just left her alone and allowed us to go our separate ways.
"I know you won't leave me alone, not forever. But when you are ready to be honest, you let me know."
___
