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tell me something sweet, but let it edges be of violence.boil your feelings and pour it over me, till my skin is itching and swelling and burnt. don't call me your red, call me your maroon; don't call me your lover, call me your jailor. put your lips on mine, till my feet are floating in some foreign parallel universe, till i'm watered down to an emptiness only you could feel. let your noose be my necklace, let your darkness be my medicine. you're so ruined, darling, it's poetic. it's the splashes of blood on your slender fingers that I recall, the torch in your hand as you lead me through the thorny passway.
drunk with my eyes painted in a shade of neon sins, only my insanity ties you to the weak thread of reality. isn't it magic, almost tragic, the way my body fits in yours but still, I'm never yours.
i spend my afternoons trying to make a picture out of the clouds, i spend my nights wrapped up in your bed which is too cold without your body. lay besides me, love me, praise me, don't leave me like the other man did, don't hit me like my father did, don't rip my heart like my mother did. lift my broken soul off the soil, wash the dirt away, bring the ghost back into my skin and bones, banish my monopoly, my fears vanish into the haze of your eyes. lush, lust, tranquility wouldn't compare to my afternoons by your feet.
don't love me at your convenience, love me like I'm an essential. Say my name on the podium, make sure it's the first among the rest. don't need another evidence, just meet me at the end of the tunnel. bring your hatred, I'll bring my flowers. Kill me and still, I'll worship you. murder me at the hands of your insensitive eyes, and watch me begging for you do it again.
it's not my need to be seen, it's my need to be the one you need. not a thing to be proud of but i got a hundred wanting to be the chosen one but my heart is too captured by your nonchalant attitude to bestow the lucky draw over the worthy.
I slur my words as my vision goes blurry, i make a temporary tattoo on your collarbone. i call out your name as the night spins in an endless puzzle of absurd longing. i look like a neatly picked bouquet but i'm rotting, with my roots smashed.
i'm in my bed, buried so deep in my covers, yet, I disgrace you, as I imagine you in some explicit pornography film. i wake up breathless, the face in my dream was yours. the thought of you with someone else makes me dig claws in my thighs,but only when blood spills off — I feel okay;only the numbness spreading across my body is a relief.
I'm writing a song, it's almost a shame to admit, nothing inspires me more than your brown eyes. you whisper sweet promises for me to drift into the dreamland. You lead me through a crowd, you watch me undress, you say everything but you never own up to your words. Fuck me but never make love to me.
it's my weakness perhaps that makes your emotional unavailability seem so sexy, so luring. it's my strength perhaps that keeps the love so fertile. it's my curse perhaps that leads me to your door and it's my boon perhaps to look in your eye and still, not cry.
I'll choose your wound over someone else's ointment. I'll rather cut myself in pieces and put them back in way you might like, then having someone who would want me as I'm. it's toxic but I'm in so deep. it's cruel but you're so cool. I don't care if you talk to me only after you're catered to your other girls. I don't care if you only hold me for my body, or your vested interests are too vicious.
I know you don't love me, but lie to me just one last time. Close your eyes and kiss me till I'm brave enough to let go. Don't shrug me off, don't turn into a ghost, don't run away in a town I can no longer find.
I'll follow you through every ocean and city, I'll follow you through mud and dirt. I'll follow you to death, I'll follow you in another life.
Won't you write my name in your list of greatest encounters? Won't you ditch me for another cheap carbon copy of mine? I won't let down other women but every girl who'll hold your hand will be envied by me.
Hold a gun to my head and I'll whisper how much I love you, babe. Hold a dagger to my neck, and I'll kiss your fingers instead. I won't try to save my miserable life, cause what a blessing it is to be dead in your arms.
