You Again [FreenBecky]

Chapter 28

I felt like a dummy.

You know when you watch TV and there is this particular show you like so much where a girl is waiting for a guy to come home or vice versa and months passes and still there is no hope of him returning? Instead of moving on with her life, the girl mourns and blocks everything else out? Well, I was that girl now. I was the girl who blocked everything out and even my daughter couldn't seem to help me this time. I could finally say that I was a depressed soul.

It was April now. Three months ago Freen and I went to New York where I asked her to choose and three months ago Freen told me she would answer me in a week. And three months ago I last heard from her or saw her for that matter. She was gone, like a wind, just vanished. Sure, she was here in Miami and visited the gallery often. I heard about her from Anda but other than that, nothing. There were no text, no calls or physical meetings at all and I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Another heartbreak from the same girl. This one was surely the worst.

But her silence made me know one thing; she made her choice. And I wasn't it. If I wasn't in love with Freen I surely would have been happy for Marissa because she got the world's best human being but now that I am, I sort of wished that Marissa didn't exist. I was a bitch for thinking that because Marissa had been nothing but so amazing to me. Whenever I was around, Anda and Lookkaeww talked about anything but Marissa and Freen. I had a feeling that their wedding preparations had started. I may or may not have heard Allison telling Lookkaeww how Leon told her that he'd be Freen's maid of honor. I never saw a guy being that before but it would have been funny if I was Marissa.

If I hadn't known why Freen was so distant, I would have thought that Faye had something to do with it. I thought Faye must have told Freen how I broke her trust but I met the older Chankimha two and a half months ago and she told me she forgave me. That was the thing about Faye - she didn't hold grudges. She just gets even at the same time and Faye and I were finally back on nicer terms. I was glad. But our friendship was of limited time. As I cut everyone off, I cut Faye out of my life too because being around her constantly reminded me of Freen. But Faye still didn't leave me alone.

Faye also suggested to ask Billy for divorce. Just like Lookkaeww asked me on the Christmas party to ask Faye for suggestion, I did. I told her about everything, put everything out in the open and she gave me the advice while being her lawyer self, not the sister of the girl I was in love with or not the woman my husband verbally abused. After knowing everything, Faye had only one thing to say; I had to leave Billy for the betterment of both of us. She was absolutely right.

Billy, however, tried to contact me but like everyone else I blocked him out of my life too. I did ask Lookkaeww at one point to tell him about my current condition and soon, Billy didn't bother me anymore. Allison however kept on meeting him every week. I was going down the wrong path, the path from where I knew I wouldn't be able to come back. I wanted to kill myself and get everything over with since I was well aware of the wedding even if no one tells me. I couldn't take the pain anymore.

I resigned from my job. I couldn't concentrate on my work and told Laura, my boss, everything that was happening. Even my three friends, Gage, Crystal and Zayn were there when I told Laura about everything, which also consisted of the night when Billy and Freen first met. Like I never really expected, they all were very supportive. Laura, who I thought wanted me gone at one point asked me to join whenever I was ready. I was so thankful to her. But I knew if I worked again, I might not stay in Miami.

I'd probably move back to Cape Town.

Why I was staying here, you ask? One simple word is the answer and that is confirmation. I wanted confirmation from Freen that she was getting married to Marissa and once I'd find that out I'll book the first flight to Cape Town or maybe further away this time, maybe I'd go to England. Like I promised Freen I'd leave her alone, I will. I would not be the type of ex-girlfriend who would ruin marriages. I already ruined much about which Marissa has no clue. I fucking messed up everything.