Gallel's Heir

Appendix A: Marriage Practices of the East Coast

Marriage serves as a purely political institution, to link one family with another, essentially to produce an heir. Consequently, in most east coast nations, a young man or woman has very little choice with whom he or she makes the contract. The mother of the girl makes the decision on which man's line to carry her shen name, and the mother of the boy decides which woman's family name to attach to her family. The title or standing comes from a father, while the shen name comes from a mother. It is the kind guardian that keeps her child's personal interests in mind, but all too often the guardian's greed or self interest control the decision.

Bonding, on the other hand, is an intricately personal connection between a man and a woman, controlled solely by their hearts. Stronger than marriage, unrelated to anything political, crossing enemy lines and cultural position, the bonding stands unbreakable. These are things to not be taken lightly.

While a marriage is a grand thing, officiated by priests and observed by everyone, a bonding is personal: A man and woman declare their love, usually in writing, with only their closest loved ones as witnesses.

The maximum number of bondings a man or woman may engage in is not defined, so long as a bonding with another does not interfere with bondings already created; a person wishing to bond with an additional partner must first gain permission from earlier bonded partners. It is rare to find a person who has truly bonded with more than two or three people. No permission need be gained from a married partner unless that partner also shares a bonding. However, it is considered highly inappropriate for a married person to bond with someone until he or she has begotten a child for their married spouse. Otherwise, any first child born will belong to the married spouse, regardless of actual parentship.

Many from western cultures will find such polyandry and polygyny disconcerting. But consider the consequences of arranged marriages: Sometimes the relationships are happy, the man and the woman are satisfied. But often one or the other or both of the married partners engages in secret (or not so secret) dalliances. No consideration is made for the inevitable children produced; by no fault of their own, the children are considered somehow less important in society because their mother and father were not allowed to be legally together. Or, since the nature of their conception must be kept secret, they may never know who their real father is.

Not to mention, how does the society determine heirship in such situations. Often, out of embarrassment or inconvenience, these children are killed before they even get a chance to take a breath. Is it not better to make legal, and expected, guidelines for such inevitable incidents? Why should a young man or young woman suffer because their mothers make a less than satisfactory arrangement? Why should love be outlawed for good and productive members of society? Why should children be killed out of embarrassment?

On occasion, people do leave bonding relationships. While the couple may live separately, the bonding is not dissolved, and they still should request permission for future bondings. They will always share the emotional link created at their bonding. This link is insoluble, beyond distance or attitude. Some have even claimed they've felt their partner after the partner has died.

Many believe the best bondings occur between men and women who have been married to each other first, though this is certainly not a requirement, nor is it a requirement that a bonding be between a man and a woman.

If a man or woman chooses to leave a marriage contract, he or she must lose any political gain acquired from the marriage, and leave behind any heirs of the divorced spouse. Leaving the children means loss of all visitation; in effect, that person is no longer the child's parent, though the child will keep the title or name inherited. An individual may not leave until a child of the married spouse has been born.

From Island Hopping: Climates and Cultures of the World. Chapter Twelve, "Relationship Customs of the East Coast," by Broak dem Delwort Alsolum of Fal Silam, 2515 AE