Lennon Miller and Jack Hughes were once inseparable. Being born on the same day, in the same hospital to moms who were best friends would do that to two people.
Every memory Lennon had as a child consisted of the brunette boy at her side. He was he...
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"Haven't I given enough, given enough? Always the fool with the slowest heart."
~*~*~
He is the same Jack that I remember yet completly different at the same time. His hair is cut short like he always used to wear but it's long enough that a few strands fall down on his forehead. The same nose, same mouth, same eyes. The eyes that used to look at me like I hung the moon now look at me with an enormous amount of quilt. They don't shine like they used to.
All his freckles are there. I used to count them every time he fell asleep before me. That scar above his left eyebrow that I put there the first time I ever put on a pair of skates. All my childhood memories come back to me in a blur.
I can feel my lip quivering as I finally come face to face with the only person I've ever truly loved. Jack was my soulmate. He was my rock, my sense of calm in the storm, he brought me peace and happiness.
Now when I look at him all I can feel is immense anger. It is so consuming, so raw that I feel as though I'll never be able to forgive him. I'll never be able to stand only a few feet away and not want to set myself on fire with the heat of the coals burning deep inside of me.
"You don't get to call me that anymore." He's taken aback by the tone of my voice. It's dripping with venom. Slithering across the table like a snake and piercing him straight in the heart.
He raises his hands in surrender, leaning back in his chair to put a tiny amount of distance between us. "I'm sorry, okay. I won't say it again. Please just sit down and listen. I'm begging you."
"You lost the chance to speak to me the minute you walked away and left me crying on the beach."
"I know Lennon, I know. If I could even begin to explain how sorry I am I would try but words just aren't enough."
I want to jump across the table and smash his face off the wood in front of him. I have never been a violent person but all the things he said and what I saw him do are ringing through my ears. The humiliation and devastation rising in my throat is all too familiar and I feel the need to lash out.
"You lost the right to apologize to me a long time ago. I can't forgive you Jack and I don't know if I ever will."
He rolls his lips into his mouth and says nothing further. I recognize the hurt in his eyes and I feel slightly bad that I am the one to put it there. Over the past six years I imagined what I would say if I ever saw him again. I wanted to yell, kick, put up this biggest fight. Anything to show him how hurt I am.
I imagined that if I got the chance I would tell him how I really felt. I would call him names and spit at the feet of the man who killed me. I'm still alive but all the parts he knew and loved are dead. I wanted to make him feel the same way.
Now that I am here I just can't bring myself to do it because he smells the same and he looks the same and it's fucking with my head. I miss him and he's right there. I hate him and he's right there.
A small part of me, a very, very small part of me wants to see where this will go. I know that it would be incredible publicity for my book. He is so well known, albeit negatively, world wide and me being seen with him. Me fixing his reputation would not only be fantastic for book sales but it would also be the greatest motivation to write my second book. Fake dating is one hell of a trope.
Rolling my shoulders back I figure I might as well hear them out. I've come all the way over here, relived my most horrible memories I should just stick it out. I'll most likely tell them no later but at least I can do it from the comfort of my own home.
"I'm listening. Not for you and not for anyone in here. I'm listening for me."
His agent gives me a grateful smile and proceeds to dive into all the details the minute I sit down. I have to admit, it's a pretty good deal. The amount of money they will pay me to fake date this fucking joker across from me will more than pay off what I owe left on the store.
She said they only need me for a few months, a year tops and then I'm free to go with all my money and my publicity. I told her I need to think about it and she was more than willing to give me a few days.
I say more than willing but I really mean she agreed with gritted teeth. It's really fucking satisfying to see them this desperate. I have the upper hand here and I sort of love it.
Once we go over a few terms and conditions I leave the room without a single glance back. I hear Jack call my name but I don't stop. Zoe comes trailing after me and I fly into the elevator ready to rip her apart.
"You're fired."
"Wh-what? Lennon let's not be hasty."
"Hasty Zoe, seriously? You crossed the only boundary I had and didn't even give me a warning. I walked into there knowing nothing and I thought you were the only person I could trust. It was good while it lasted but I am no longer interested in working with you."
Zoe sputters, eyes wide as she steps out of the elevator at the same time as I do. "You are making a huge mistake."
"No actually I'm doing myself a favor. Go find some else to screw over, your subpar services are no longer needed."
I send her one last smile and an accompanying wink before I push open the double doors and disappear around the corner. Fuck, I've got a lot of thinking to do.
