Just Like You Are

Is This It?

"HUUUUSK!!!" Vaggie's voice trailed down the steps, vibrating the lobby windows, and scaring Alastors shadow in the process. Husk was still recovering from Charlie's spell before being punched in the face. "What the fuck did you do!?" He raised his arms defensively, guarding more and more punches. "I didn't do a damn thing!" Vaggie shoved him against the bar shelves and continued swinging.

"!Hijo de puta! I told you to help me keep her happy! How could you break her fuckin heart the same day?!" Husk grabbed her wrists. "Charlie is just overreacting, as usual! She tried using her attraction on me, and it was too much to handle! That's it! She just feels bad!" Vaggie broke free from his grasp and resumed punching. "Why are you still hitting me?!" He asked, reaching for a bottle.

"Because I fucking hate you! How could you upset her... like this?" Her punches became lighter and lighter, until she rested herself on his chest, crying. Husk kept his left hand on the bar shelves to balance his and her weight.

"Charlie is all I have," she said quietly. "I can't lose her Husk. I've never seen her so upset, and you've seen how she gets." Husk put his arm around Vaggies head. She relaxed into him, accepting the comforting gesture. Then she heard gulping noises. He wasn't hugging her, he was drinking. "I'm sorry, am I standing between you and your drink?" He didn't bother answering. Releasing the bottle from his lips, and her head from his arm, they looked at eachother.

"Your going to fix this," she told him. Husk scoffed. "There's nothing to fix. I didn't do anything wrong." She squinted at him, and crossed her arms. "Your going to fix this, or I'll tell Alastor you've been a subpar bartender."

Husk put his bottle down gently. "You wouldn't dare. Ive been exceptional, and you hate him too much to tell him anything." She stood her ground. "Try me." After a few moments, Husk gave in, sighed, and put his bottle back on the shelf. "Tomorrow, when she's calmed down. I don't need to see her like that again."

Vaggie nodded in disapproval, and walked away, leaving Husk alone at the bar. It felt like it should feel. It felt right. No one to ruin his buzz. No one to let down. Another person disappointed with him for some bull shit. Husk chuckled at the monotony of his seemingly repeating existence. The same choices, the same results. Different people. Earth, Hell, then probably double Hell after this. It's all the same.

Vaggie poked her head around the corner. "One on one therapy with Charlie, 8 a.m." "I'll be passed out till noon." Husk spat back. "Then you'll be missing your wings by 8:01. I'll make sure of it."

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8 a.m.

Together again, Husk and Charlie sat in a big circle of chairs. She, in the center, he, as far back from her as possible. Husk stared down at the floor, as Charlie tapped a pen on her clip board. "Not very talkative today." She asked, seeming uninterested. "Maybe I don't feel like talking." He responded quietly. She sighed and stood up from her chair. "Fine... I guess we can end the session early." As she began to walk toward the door, Alastors shadow was outside of the window, standing beside Vaggie. Both were staring daggers at him, making vulgar gestures about his well being, if she walks out.

Husk shot up from his chair and blocked her path. "Charlie, wait!" She stopped. Surprised, she looked at him wide eyed. "Um, why?" She asked. Husk was terrified. All he could do was be honest. "I... do... want to talk. Please don't leave."

She perked up slightly and sat down at the nearest chair, patting the one closest to her for him to sit. He obliged, not wasting any more time. He had peaked her interest. He wanted to talk? After what she'd done? "Well...," she began. "What did you want to talk about?" Husk grimaced. "Uhh, whatever you wanted to talk about." The princess slumped, expecting a much different answer. Getting annoyed, she raised her clipboard.

"Fine. Okay, Husk, why are you such a dick bag?"

"Cause life is a dick bag. It ain't so easy being me, doing what I've done, and just letting go."

"Do you agree that you can? Or are you in denial about that too?"

"I'm not in denial. I know when somethings too good to be true. I know what I fucking deserve, and im happy to own it."

"How can you say any of that? I see the pain in your face, every day. I see the loneliness and the fear. I see how you act when you get really drunk. Some part of you wants to be a part of us."

"I'm only here because I'm told to be."

Charlie gave him a look.

"We all find ourselves somewhere we may not want to be sometimes. But it's our ability to adapt and be positive that alleviates some of the anguish we all suffer from. We all want to feel good. So why chose any other option? Are you bitter?"

"Why would I be bitter!?"

"I really want to know." Charlie said quietly. "I honestly want to know, why your upset, and what I can do to help."

"Thats your fuckin problem. You want to help everybody."

"The only problem I have, is you. Your so difficult. Even Angel talks. Mostly about sexual stuff, but he still talks. You have nothing to say? Nothing to let out? Nothing... for me?"

Husk couldn't deal with this. But his wings depended on it. "I don't care about the past. I just want some peace and quiet."

"I've seen that peace. When you first got here. You were worse. You drank a lot more. You cursed a lot more. You wouldn't even show up to group. I've seen you lighten up since being forced to stay around us."

Husk didn't say anything.

"You might enjoy being around us more. You might enjoy being around me more, Y'know?" She asked, shyly playing with her hair. She leaned closer to him, and he leaned further away.

"Look Princess, I'm tired of making mistakes. I'm tired of being put in the position to make mistakes. I'm tired of meeting more and more people, just to make more and more mistakes. I don't want to care anymore. The longer I'm here, the worse it gets. Knowing that sooner or later, I'll fuck up."

She put her hand on his knee. "Husk, we all fuck up. It's what we do after our fuck ups, that matter. I don't want you to make bad decisions after bad choices."

"Why the fuck not?" Husk wasn't liking this feeling.

"Because I care about you." She said honestly.

"I really wish you fucking didn't." Husk started tearing up.

"Well, I fucking do." She said, scooching in closer for a hug.

Husk could feel it. That wave of powerful, painful emotions he never wanted to feel again. It felt good. It felt bad. It felt like living. "Please, Charlie. Stop it... turn it off."

"I can't Husk. I'm not doing anything."

This was it. He had fallen once again. He hugged her, and let the tears fall. "Why did you do this to me?" He asked through choked sobs.

"Maybe im selfish." She whispered in his ear. "And you want this too. You want to be happy. You want to be loved. You want to move on, just like everyone else. And I want to help you."

"I don't want to fuck this up."

"I won't let you."