The Tragedy of Marco

Chapter X: The Past meets The Present

Doors of Jordan's office opened and a woman entered. To Jordan's surprise, his wife came to visit him at work. He was not used to seeing her anywhere near his work. She was never interested and he was fine with it.

"Hey Anna, my love! What a delightful surprise."

"Good morning, my dear. I decided to pay you a visit, since I never do."

They talked about plans happy and married couples make and while doing so, a picture caught Anna's eye.

"I know this guy," she said, showing on a picture.

"Impossible! You know him? From where?"

"Oh, well ... he was my student and -"

A knock interrupted Anna. The doors once again opened and another woman entered. The relaxed atmosphere was destroyed in the exact moment two women made eye contact. Quite a few years have passed since Mary last saw Anna. Their last meeting didn't turn out to be very pleasant and it seemed, as this one wouldn't either.

"You ... what are you doing in my husband's office?"

"I am his client. And, please, don't pretend you don't know he is working on my case."

"Miss Garis, firstly, no I didn't know he was working with you nor I knew you were so close to my husband to just enter his office."

"Oh, we could talk about being close to someone else's husband, couldn't we?"

Jordan, confused by the talk, decided to interrupt but both ladies silenced him down quickly. Even though he was shocked by the event, he was still decided to finish it before it turned into a fiasco.

"Can we all just stop for a minute? From where do you two know each other and why are you so arrogant to each other?"

Mary opened her mouth to answer but Anna stopped her: "Mary, please ... don't." But Mary continued.

"Don't you remember me, Jordan? Don't you remember my voice, my anger?"

"Mary, I beg you, don't! Please."

"Yes, I will. You were the one who should told him but I guess it is on me now."

Anna sat down defeated. Jordan tried to remember Mary. When did he hear her voice? He remembered their first meeting. She did sound familiar. Her voice was pleasanter but it was the same one as the one he had heard before. But where? Jordan's confusion turned into shock as he realized.

"You are the crazy lady that screamed at my wife that night!"

"Yes! Yes, I am. And I had a very good reason to do so!"

"Oh, really? And what could that be?"

"Ask her," said Mary, pointing at Anna. She confessed cheating on him with Mary's husband. Jordan was heartbroken. For him, Anna was the purest of them all. He didn't say a word to any of the women present. Anna cynically thanked Mary for destroying her marriage and honestly wished her luck in the search of Marco. "He was an amazing guy. I wish you had appreciated him more," she added and left the office.

*

Jordan and Mary were left in the office. Jordan went to a cupboard and poured himself a glass of whiskey. He didn't offer Mary any.

"Well, marriage is marriage and work is work. Sometimes they want to interrupt each other but we shouldn't let them do so. Just tell me something before we go back to the investigation. Is that the reason Leo doesn't know anything about this?"

"Yes. Listen, Jordan ... I can come some other day if you wish."

"No, no. We are so close. Sit down. Why are you here?"

Jordan closed the doors of his personal life and acted very professional while Mary was still a bit distressed. She just destroyed a marriage of her husband's lover. She didn't expect the feeling to be so bitter. But she sat down and started talking. For the first time, she was completely honest. She told him how she neglected her son in his young years. Career was more important to both of them and they forgot about their son. She confessed that at one point she had known that her son was depressed and morbid but had chosen to ignore it as she was busy working on a new project. As she talked, she cried.

"And if I had another chance, just a minute ... to tell him how sorry I am. I am sorry that I didn't pay him enough attention, I am sorry I didn't visit him as a mother but only as a woman of a collapsing marriage. I have never read or admired his work. And I wish I had. I wish I had told him I am grateful to have him. Maybe, maybe by just telling him how much he helped me, I would make him feel less useless. But I didn't. I didn't. Jordan ... he was not okay. He was at the bottom of his life, calling for help and I turned around because some French guy wanted a recipe. He called me many times, crying, catching breath and I didn't know how to help him, when all I should do is be a mother. He was screaming and I chose not to hear."

Jordan offered Mary a paper tissue and a glass of water. They talked for about two hours, and Mary told him everything. The whole history of Garis family. The past has been revealed. But it was not enough for Jordan. There was one piece missing in the puzzle. When they first met, she said she last talked to Marco on December 15th. Back then, she had said the call was about Christmas plans but Jordan wasn't sure about this being the truth. He used the situation and asked Mary about the talk. And she answered. She answered in complete honesty. She recalled Marco's words and told them one by one.

*

"Mum? Mommy? I need you! I can't breathe. I am so sad. Mum, please. I need your hug. I ... can't ... breathe ... it is chasing me. Help me. I am getting dark. The doors that should be closed opened. Mum. I need it. I need the darkness to be here. It is easier to drown. I cannot swim anymore. It is too exhausting. One, two, three ... I can't breathe. One, two, three, four ... I am choking. One, two, three, four ... five, six ... I can't count to ten. I can't breathe. Mum, help me. Why didn't you tell me you were proud of me? Just once, mother. Just once. Haven't I done anything good in my life? One, two, three, four, five ... I can't. That is all I am doing my whole life. Making a collection of "I can't". Why? Why is this my life? Why are these moments here? Why can't I calm down? Tick tick tick tock tock tock tick tick tick ... my heart is beating. It will explode. Help me. I can't breathe. It is here but I can't see it. I can't run away as it is here. It is always here. Eating me. Pulling me lower and lower. Help me. One, two, three ... stop saying this! Am I alone? Are you with me? Where are you? Why can't I see you? I can't, can't, can't. I need love. I need to be loved. I can't. Help me. I can't stop crying. I've tried, I swear, I've tried to stop. I've tried to stop everything. It is not easy to try when you have a dark soul to feed. Mum, stop. Don't go. Don't leave me now. I have been here for too long. I want to be pulled out. No, I haven't been drinking. Please. No. I am not like my father, mother. I will never cheat I promise. Mum, where is dad? I need you to be proud. My chest is shrinking. You have to believe me. You have to believe in me. I can't breathe. No, stop saying that. Hug me. I need you. I need a person. No, don't go, please. Please. Mum, please. No."

*

"My son had a crisis, he was panicking. It was the worst he got. And all I said was "Breath" and "Count to ten, Marco, calm down." It is my fault. It is all my fault. If only I had listened. Just once. I killed my son. I killed him!" Mary was sobbing hysterically. Everything bottling inside her came out and pain of a mother losing her child was stronger than ever. After all, behind the makeup, elegance and pride, there was a human being. A mother.

Author's note: With this chapter, the division on The Past and Present is finished.