The Solitude Of Eve

Chapter 6

I took too long on my way home. It was almost a daybreak. When I arrived I noticed someone's presence in the house. Even though it was my home I sneaked around. It's not like anyone could be a threat to me, but I was just curious. A bearded man in a suit who was the one occupying my mansion left the study and was walking down the corridor not knowing that I was on the ceiling. I knew him, it was Collins - he was around 200 years old. A scholar who like my beloved wanted to record as much of the history as he could. They probably were in cahoots when it came to capturing me, which is sad. I liked Collins and he was one of the few of the children that I was actually proud of. So I dropped down off the ceiling, snuck up behind him, and decapitated him with a quick and precise strike on the neck. I wanted him to go out as painlessly as I could. Maybe being imprisoned for so much time made me soft. I could tell that the sun was almost up and my body wanted me to rest, but I decided that I would not sleep until I found out what my beloved was thinking before his death. I went to the study where his journals were kept. Collins made a lot of mess. Everything was shuffled around. His notes were mixed with that of my beloved, but I was able to find the latest journal of my lover after a while. Just holding it in my hand was giving me a panic attack. Answers to questions that tormented me for all this time were finally within my grasp. I just need to gather the courage to open the notebook. With shaking hands, I flipped it open and skimmed through the pages until I reached the final entry. I believed that it had the most probability to have the answers to my questions and if not I can always go back to the earlier ones. The final entry of his journal went as follows:

It took me a long time to arrive at this decision, but I concluded that I couldn't go on any longer. I'll step up into the sun and end it all. However, I'm afraid if I end my life Eve will impulsively follow me into the sun and I just want her to stay alive. So I need to ensure that she will have time to cool her head.

- That selfish bastard! - I shouted out loud. So that what's all of this was about? I continued reading.

I once revealed to Collins in deep secrecy that drinking the blood of originals like me or Eve can grant incredible powers and I want him now to spread this information around and gather some people who would be driven by the desire to get this power for themselves and capture Eve. I know it won't be pleasant for her, but she will at least be alive and one day when she'll be ready I know she'll escape and continue living as she wants.

- That bastard just predicts everything isn't he? I hate him so much! - another shout escaped my mouth.

I hope she will still be able to live happily even without me. Unlike me she's strong so I believe that she will be alright. I can't completely say that I'm not worried and part of me wants to stay with her, but as shameful as it is I'm just so incredibly tired of the weight of existing in such a cruel way. I was never able to tell her anything about my internal strife. She always feels so proud of being on top of the food chain, but I could never enjoy it. I feel like I never deserved that power. Our creator chose us seemingly at random. Eve I understand, she's perfect, but I was always a nobody, a failure, I never understood why she even stayed with me for so many years. I have no guts and someone like me shouldn't be alive for so long, especially in a sinful way as we do. So I finally decided to end it. It took me a long time, but I believe it's for the best.

- For the best for whom you idiot!? - I screamed again tears falling down my eyes.

That was where the diary ended. I guess I at least know that he never stopped loving me. There was some comfort in that, but why he never told me about his internal struggles? Him? A failure? He was the most wonderful man in my life! Now I felt completely drained. I didn't even know what to think. I left the study and went to our bedroom. Not even bothering to undress I dropped on the bed and cried myself to sleep.