CLASH - Mildred Ratched

Chapter 25 - Aftermath

It felt unreal. The world around you became meaningless. You felt uneasy in a way you don't know what to expect if things happen again. You feel dull at the moment, no energy to move— even breathe if it's possible. All your spark went off in just a snap. The scene unfold in your mind a thousand times, making you feel as if it destroyed you for how many years now. That's how deep it is.

I don't wanna move. On cue, you heared creek sound coming from the door. With your eyes moving, you saw the blonde peeking her head. When she saw you, Cordelia fully went in and locked the door. The sound of her heels against the floor is irking you, wincing at every steps she make.

Cordelia sensed it, how your eyes followed her feet and your expression when her heels creates a sound. She abruptly stopped, clasping her hands below her stomach. Moving your eyes to her hands up to her face, she stare at you with concern. She noticed the way you tightly held the clothes and the troubled face you have.

"I just wanted to check on you", she said, almost getting shy.

You shortly sigh, shifting your eyes on your lap. Looking at the crumpled clothes on your hand, you forgot you're still on your clothes and Cordelia already saw you. Without saying a word, you stood up and went to the bathroom leaving Cordelia confused. She eyed you from the way you stand up and how your energy strongly emits emptiness. Her heartbeat increased for a second before she sucessfully calm herself down. After a few minutes you went out, moving like a ton of bags is being placed on your back.

"(y/n)", Cordelia softly said.

Brown eyes glanced at her. "Want to eat?", she asked. For a moment, you want to decline her offer but at the same time accepting it because you don't know what else you're going to do all alone in this room. I'm hungry.

Giving her a nod, she started to lead you downstair, finding a rather serious Wilhemina sitting on the sofa. When she saw your figure walking around the kitchen, her features turned into a soft and loving one. She can't see me like this. Wilhemina is utterly worried about you because of what happened, but she can't bare the thought of you witnessing her being worried because she knew you hate seeing her like that.

Setting the table, you sat frozen on the chair. Pinching the skin on your hands every so often without knwing it. Your eyes cutting through the table, staring into nothingness. Wilhemina frowned observing your state. This must be a lot for her. She knew she doesn't have the rights anymore to comfort you like lovers do. Friends. But it felt strange to shower you with care without overly doing it, exceeding the boundary of being just friends because she used to be in Mildred's postion in the past. Wilhemina already forgot how to take care of a friend because she grew up almost having none.

Nevertheless, she sat beside you, offering you a small smile when you look at her. Cordelia sat on the opposite side to respect your space, she knew you didn't like being in between of a person escpecially when they are close enough to you. You stare at the food, not knowing if you would eat or not. But as you can feel their eyes piercing on your figure, your hand acted on its own and you started to eat.

Minutes have passed, their eyes lingering on every actions you made, observing them and putting significant details to it. "Do you need anything?", Cordelia inquired, tilting her head a little.

"No", you manage to whisper.

"Are you feeling quite alright?"

The redhead quickly glared at her but Cordelia insisted. Staring at her, words feels fuzzy inside your brain, all your senses becoming distant to your body. When your response took long enough for her liking, she asked another one.